Harder To Breathe
by crazybrunette113
Summary: TV BASED: Her world was falling apart, crumbling all around her. And she couldn't stop it. In Upper East Side, no one can keep a secret as big as the one Blair Waldorf was now carrying...but who exactly knows? Based on next weeks GG episode
1. Nothing Lasts Forever

Chapter 1 – Nothing Lasts Forever

_It is so easy to see  
Dysfunction between you and me  
We must free up these tired souls  
Before the sadness kills us both_

January 16, 2008:

She walked…and walked…and walked. For hours, she walked through the park in a daze, bumping into everyone and everything, not caring. Her feet seemed to know where they were going, she completely trusted them, as her eyes wandered all over the place, while the wind pushed her hair behind her.

She could feel her phone vibrating in her jacket pocket…and it kept vibrating.

"How could this happen to me?" she muttered to herself, soft tears forming in her eyes. Her face burned from the cold January air, but she didn't care.

_Serena walked through the opening elevator doors, heading straight up the winding, marbled staircase in the Waldorf house to Blair's room._

_"Blair," She knocked on the cracked door, pushing it open, immediately seeing the brunette sitting on her bed with her head in her hands, "hey." Blair looked up, giving Serena a weak look. "I came as soon as I got your message. What's wrong?"_

Her mind, confused with so many different thoughts and emotions, felt like it was going to explode. She had found a small bench, a cold one, and sat down, the metal bars pressing the coldness against her body.

_"I'm late." The way Blair spat those words out, all in one breath, made Serena jump. Her best friend looked like she was going to burst with tears and her maternal instincts immediately kicked in._

_"It's okay," Serena moved closer to Blair, taking Blair's body in a tight grasp, "it'll be okay."_

She found herself facing his house once again, only now from across the street. She needed him so much right now…she needed to be in his arms and she needed to hear his soft whisper…she needed him.

The sounds of cab horns, people talking, and all of the hustle and bustle finally woke her up from her daze. Her eyes blinked quickly, and then she jogged across the street.

Walking up to the stairs, she could feel tears forming n her eyes again, but they refused to roll down her cheeks. She though she was past the crying hoop-la.

"Ah, Miss Waldorf," The servant opened the door, "come in." She would've mustered up some kind of sarcastic remark, but her brain was too weak to think of one, so she just nodded.

"Mr. Archibald is upstairs."

"Thank you." she whispered as he took her jacket, the arms of the jacket sliding off the sleeves of her blouse.

_"We need to know, Blair." Serena and Blair were back in Blair's room, sitting on the bed again. "We need to know if you're going to have a baby."_

_Blair shook her head, biting her bottom lip, "I'm scared." Shivers went up her spine all of a sudden as the fear began to sink into her body._

_"I'll be right here…I promise."_

He looked so peaceful in the library, quietly reading a big book in a leather chair, the walls of book intrigued her as she made way towards the door of the room.

But she stopped. And she started to panic. What was he going to say? How would they deal with it? _Would_ he deal with it?

"Blair…" He opened the glass doors, worry was brushed all over his face. She stared at him, he was searching for something in her pained eyes.

And then she jumped into his arms, finally letting her tears fly as she buried her head in his shoulder. He was taken aback, but he comforted her, his hand gently sliding up and down her back.

"Shh…" he reassured her quietly.

_"You have to tell someone, B." Serena advised Blair, who was now pacing around her room._

_"I can't."_

_"You have to." she repeated. "You can't keep this a secret." Blair knew Serena was right, but there was no way anything that had happened would've sit well with anyone._

_"And you know pretty well that someone will find out sooner or later, whether you say something or not."_

"Hey," He pulled her into the room once she got her tears under control, "what's wrong?"

She pulled away from his gentle grip, facing towards the window, ultimately seeing the busy city that was hushed by the walls. "Everything. It's all falling apart." She faced him again, her lips quivering with the news they held.

"What's falling apart?" His eyes were concerned as they stared deep into hers, piercing her gaze.

"There's something I need to tell you…"


	2. Up Against The Wall

Chapter 2 - Up Against The Wall

_And I can't deny your eyes_

_You know I tried to read between the lines_

_I saw a warning sign_

_And then you threw me up against the wall_

January 3, 2008:

Blair awoke the next morning, the car horns and sirens from the busy city buzzing loudly in her ear. She rolled over and smiled when she saw a familiar face sleeping peacefully next to her.

_Nate knocked softly on Blair's door, inviting himself in as she stood up from her bed, his jacket loosely wrapped around his body and his hair fell in his face as he walked towards the corner of the room._

_"I'm didn't think you would come." Blair told him as an uncomfortable silence beginning to linger in the stuffy air._

_"I don't know why I did, considering what happened today." His voice was annoyed, she could tell, and he faced her._

_"I know." She looked down at the floor, then quickly looked at him again, searching for something to say. "Do you think people can really, truly, forgive one another?"_

_Nate's head picked itself up, "Yea. If they really mean it." And then a grin plastered itself on his face as Blair moved towards him._

_"I am really sorry." Her smile sparked butterflies in Nate's stomach, he knew he was falling for her all over again. Blair noticed the sparkle in his eyes and smiled just before she brushed his lips with a kiss…_

She ran her fingers through his soft hair and she just stared at him, thinking about everything that had gone on between them…they had been through so much together.

"Mmm," He stirred and shifted his body over to face her, "good morning."

Her hand fell to his face and was pressed against his face and the pillow, her fingers moving against his cheek, "Good morning." They both smiled at each other.

"I didn't mean to wake you," she whispered groggily, "you looked so peaceful."

"I was dreaming." he answered, taking her hand from his face and lacing it with his.

"Really?" Her smile grew bigger. "About what?"

His face held the expression she was hoping for, "You." Blair felt her heart melting and she kissed him deeply before rolling out of bed, immediately grabbing a robe from her closet and disappeared into her bathroom as Nate watched.

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

"Hey sis." Serena cringed at those words, for the first time in her life, when she walked into the kitchen, fully dressed in her school uniform, finding Chuck sitting at the table with his silky robe on. "How was you're night last night? I heard you come in late…very late."

_"You were right." Dan watched Serena take her jacket off once she was in his room. "You were right." He didn't have to say anything, he didn't want to say anything, he knew she was hurt by whatever had happened in the last ten minutes._

_"I'm sorry." She smiled as she crawled onto his bed. She positioned herself up against the headboard, appearing taller than Dan._

_"You studying?" Dan nodded. "Okay." Serena reached over him, grabbed a pad of paper, opened Dan's textbook and smiled at him as he watched her._

"I thought I told you _never_ to call me that." she warned him, again, as she reached for a cereal bowl.

"You did," he answered, interrupting her next thought, "I just didn't listen." Serena made a face, accompanied by rolling her eyes as she started eating.

"You still didn't answer my question."

"My life, and what I do with it, is none of your damn business."

"But we're family now-"

Serena held her finger up to him, "No we're not."

He nodded his head, "We will be…soon. And family is supposed to look out for each other."

She sighed, "Don't worry about me. I don't need protecting especially when _you're_ the one that would save me." She finished her last bite, dumped the rest of the milk into the sink and placed her bowl on the counter, the spoon sitting inside of it.

"It's okay," Chuck called to her as she left towards her room again, "you'll like me in a few days." Serena rolled her eyes in disgust as she finally shut the door…

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

"Hey sleepyhead," Blair placed her hands on Nate's back, shaking him furiously until he woke up or made a response, "get up."

"No." Blair laughed at his childish response.

"Too bad."

"No," he repeated, grabbing her arm and pulled her down towards him, her small scream rang in his ears, "Stay with me."

She kissed him softy, "I would love to, but we have to go." He moaned in defeat. "We have school, remember?" She stood up tall next to him and smoothed her skirt out with her hands, adjusting her sweater afterwards.

"Um, hello?" Nate sat up, his bare, muscular chest visible in the bright morning sunlight and the sheet covered the bottom half of his body. Blair stopped at the doorway to her room, her bag in her hand. "I'm suspended."

She shook her head, "No you're not. Serena confessed…it's all good now."

"Serena broke in?"

Blair nodded, "C'mon get ready, Nate…"

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

"Hey." Serena, accompanied with Dan next to her, met up with Blair and Nate on the steps of the school. "Look Nate, I'm sorry about what happened. I should've spoken up sooner."

He shook his head, "Don't worry about it. I understand." There was an uncomfortable silence between the two couples, the brisk cold air pushed against their faces, which were starting to turn red from it. The girls skirts blew with the wind in sync with the boys' scarves and that was their cue to start heading inside.

"So," Blair finally spoke up, "I heard you and Chuck are going to be related." Serena closed her eyes in disgust, _again_, and kind of nodded.

"How did you find out?"

"Chuck." Nate answered just as he walked up to the group.

"Ah," His voice was just so…_Chuck_. He wrapped his arm around Serena's neck, "I heard my name."

"Don't flatter yourself." Chuck noticed an intriguing look in Blair's eyes as they met his for a quick glance.

"I see you and Nathanial are back." His eyes never left Blair, his famous smirk growing on his face as Nate nodded, but Blair continued to stare into Chuck's deceiving eyes.

"Hey," Nate nudged Blair gently, "I have to go see the principal for something and then go to class." She nodded. "I'll see you later?"

"Yea." He removed his hand from her waist, pecked her on the lips and then disappeared down the hallway. Blair turned to say something to Serena, but her and Dan must've magically disappeared and she saw nothing but air. But there was Chuck.

"I thought we had an agreement." His voice was behind her ear, he moved like he was walking on air and she jumped subtly from the surprise.

"So?"

"Well I guess you want Nate to know about us, right?" She narrowed her eyes at him and he didn't make anything of it, he just moved in front of her. "Okay, I'll tell him in first period then." He turned to leave, his scarf swaying with him.

"Why?"

Chuck stopped and briskly turned around, "Why what?"

"Why do you insist of ruining everyone's lives?"

He smiled and walked towards her, lowering his head down as if to kiss her, but he stopped right before her lips, "Because it's fun." And then he kissed her cheek before she could even bat him away.


	3. Iris

Chapter 3 - Iris

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything feels like the movies  
And you bleed just to know you're alive_

_And I don't want the world to see me_

January 3, 2008:

Lily watched her phone on the table next to her, waiting for it to vibrate or make some sort of sound that would excuse her from the very boring outing Bart had dragged her along for. But, she didn't want it to be just anyone. She wanted it to be him…she wanted it to be Rufus calling her. As if they were back in high school, he would call her and she would make up some kind of excuse, maybe like she was getting sick from this seafood that they actually _called_ seafood, and ride away towards his house and be greeted by the rugged artistic look, his arms and warm smile.

But no…it seemed as though it wasn't going to happen.

"Lily," Bart shook her wrist gently, smiling to a few people across the table, "you've been staring at the table for minutes now. Are you alright?"

She nodded, "I'm so sorry. Just a little tired." Her act seemed to charm the complete strangers at the table, all staring at her, and they accepted her excuse. "I'm fine, after I go…freshen up."

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

"Ah, Nathaniel…" Chuck pulled Nate out of the principal off doorway, slinging his arm around Nate's shoulder. He was so tempted to tell Nate about him and Blair, he could feel the words foaming at his mouth.

"Hey, Chuck." Nat didn't acknowledge Chuck's odd behavior and they preceded down the hall. "What's up?"

Chuck shook his head, "Nothing much. You're girl, Blair, though-"

"Is right here." Blair appeared out of nowhere, her soft curls bounced as she landed right in front of the guys, smiling knowingly. She could tell she just interrupted Chuck telling her boyfriend about her affair.

She glanced at Chuck, giving him a sarcastic look of some sort and then glanced at Nate, "How'd it go with the principal?"

Nate took Blair's hand and laced it with him, causing Chuck to roll his eyes in complete disgust, "He just wanted to tell me my suspension was erased from my record. That's all."

"Good."

He nodded, "What are you doing here? Your first class is all the way across campus." Chuck couldn't take their 'flirting' anymore and pushed the couple together in order to make his way inside the classroom.

Chuck took his seat and watched Blair and Nate talk. He didn't know what was so infatuated about them or why he was so interested. But he was.

He was puzzled, way beyond his belief, as to why he didn't tell Nate right when they had met up…it was the perfect opportunity.

And then the bell rang, and Nate and Blair scrambled away from each other before the professor slammed the door shut…which he did.

"Mr. Archibald," He addressed Nate as his back was turned towards the class as he wrote something on the board, "I see you have decided to join us again."

Nate finally took his seat in front of Chuck, "Yes sir."

"Good. I'm sure your buddie Mr. Bass will get you caught up with what you missed…"

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Rufus stared at the painting on the wall, actually he had kind of zoned off while he was staring at the picture, but that was besides the point. His mind had wandered off into his 'thing' with…oh, he couldn't remember her name.

"Phew," Rufus heard footsteps of a woman walk into the gallery, "I thought I would never escape." He quickly turned around and saw Lily, in her fancy cocktail dress and heels, smile at him.

"What are you doing here?"

"I just told you." she answered. "I had to escape from that dreadful lung, brunch…whatever thing that was." She looked around at the empty gallery, "Why? Is this a bad time?"

He shook his head, "No. But I thought we said that we couldn't see each other…"

"Right," Her head hung, the blond strands of hair falling in her face, "about that…"

"Lily," Rufus sighed. He knew what was coming, whenever she was about to say that she had second thoughts about something…he knew what that meant. They hadn't had their history for nothing, "I know what you're going to say and-"

"You may think you know what I'm about to say," she interrupted him, "but you have no idea." Rufus smiled at Lily's snappiness. "I think I made a mistake."

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Blair waited for it to come…she needed it to come, but it just wasn't happening. The one time of the month for her had been, now, about a week late. She started to panic. She couldn't be…could she?

She tried to remember the times when it could've happened, and immediately the incident between her and Chuck popped into her mind.

"Gross." she whispered to herself.

"Gross what?" Chuck had popped up behind her and she jumped at his voice.

"You are despicable, do you know what?" He smiled at her and she just narrowed her eyes at him. "But, I did break up your discussion with Nate this morning…I _am_ happy about that."

"Whatever." It was now Blair's turn to return his sarcastic smile and he just brushed it off as he made his way out of the school, leaving Blair to her paranoid thinking once again.

She quickly took out her cell phone as she was welcomed by the cold air thrusting itself in her face when she walked outside, holding the phone up to ear after she had mechanically dialed a number. And of course, no one answered, leaving her to leave a message…and she did.

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Serena walked through the opening elevator door, heading up the marbled staircase in the Waldorf suite to Blair's room…it was so natural for her.

"Blair," She knocked on the cracked door, pushing her way inside, immediately spotting her brunette friend lying on her bed, her head pressed into her pillow and soft cries escaped from her mouth, "hey…" Serena sat next to Blair's arm, her hand wiping gently up and down Blair's back to soothe her. "I came as soon as I got your message. What's wrong?" Blair looked up, giving Serena a weak look, before she buried her face into the pillow once again.

Blair didn't know how to say what she was thinking, nor did she want to…but it was Serena. They told each other everything, well most of the time.

"B, what's wrong?" Serena asked again. "Did something happen with Nate?" Blair shook her head. "Then what happened? You know you can tell me…"

Blair forced herself to stop crying long enough to tell Serena, and she sat up slowly, her fingers running against her cheek to take away the tear tracks.

"I'm late." The way Blair spat those words out, all in one breath, made Serena jump. Her best friend looked like she was going to burst with tears again and she watched her lips quiver while she continued to look Serena in the eyes, waiting for her response. And Serena's maternal instincts immediately kicked in.

"It's okay," Serena moved closer to Blair, taking Blair's fragile body in her tight grasp, "it'll be okay."


	4. It Ends Tonight

**AN: **People have been asking about the layout of the story. Please, please, please pay attention to the dates at the beginning of each chapter, otherwise you'll get very lost. That's how the story's set up…just reminding all of you readers!

Chapter 4 - It Ends Tonight

_The walls start breathing_

_My mind's unweaving_

_Maybe it's best you leave me alone_

_A weight is lifted on this evening…_

_It ends tonight_

January 8, 2008:

Blair's world was like a tornado for the next few days. She was being distant from everyone, Nate included and that caused tiny fights between the two of them, they were fighting about the stupidest things too. Her grades were dropping because she couldn't concentrate on anything and her mind kept wondering off to La La Land, somewhere that she had hoped she lived at certain times.

"Miss Waldorf," Blair snapped herself back to reality as one of her professors stared at her. He must've been waiting for something, "would you like to answer the question?"

"Um," Blair spoke quietly, "not really."

"Too bad." He turned back towards the board and started explaining what they had been talking about, something that had to do with the Civil War and people in it. "Do you remember who enforced the 10 percent plan that allowed the southern states to rejoin the union?"

Blair actually knew this question, "Yeah. Lincoln." A small grin grew on her face as the teacher smiled at her, nodding to her correct answer. But no one seemed surprised that she had actually applied herself to the learning…and that surprised her.

"Yes, that's correct." And then it was time for Blair to zone out again. But she wasn't thinking about her 'baby', she was thinking about her dad and the fact that she would probably have to go live with him if she was pregnant. She wouldn't mind that…she wanted to go anyways.

The bell rang for lunch and everyone quickly scrambled out of the classroom. Everyone except Blair. She wanted to avoid everyone possible, she just wasn't in the mood for any gossip or any conversation with her friends. So she stayed in history, the teacher didn't mind anyways so there was no harm done.

The silence in the room calmed her for some odd reason. She had never really liked silence, she was always talking to someone whether it was on the phone or not, or she was running around to different places. But this silence she liked.

"I should stay here more often." she told herself. But that silence didn't last very long when her phone started ringing, playing Fergie's "Glamorous" at a medium volume. It was either Nate or Serena, or so she thought. But she was surprised to see Chuck's name appear on the little screen.

"What would he want?" she asked, muttering it under her breath. She hesitated on answering it…

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Chuck waited and waited for her to answer, he really needed to talk to her.

"Hey," Blair's voice came over the phone and he felt relieved when she answered.

"Hey." he responded.

"I'm not here right now…" And then Chuck's heart sank. "So leave a message and maybe I'll call you back." Chuck didn't know what to say in a message, usually he was the one receiving the messages, not giving/leaving them.

"Blair, it's Chuck. Look, I don't know what's going on with you, but I really need to talk to you. So yea…" Was he supposed to end it right there? Or maybe he should say goodbye or call him back… "I'll talk to you later then."

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

"We _cannot_ keep doing this." Rufus smiled, staring up at the ceiling, as Lily's head rested on his bare chest. They needed to catch their breath after what had been very, very, _very_ satisfying sex. They were in Rufus' apartment and in his bed of course. Their affair, which was now going on for five days straight, was just like the days when they were dating. They were both sneaking around, Lily was lying to Bart about where she was going, but Bart never made it a point to check up on her…that was a plus.

"But it's so much fun!" She felt his fingers running through her tangled hair, they messaged her scalp gently.

"Believe me, I know." Lily picked her head up, turned her body around and looked into Rufus' eyes.

"Then what's the problem?" Her eyes batted so innocently at him and his stomach churned with the same feelings he had back then.

"Someone's going to end up getting hurt. And I hate being the cause of pain." Lily looked away for a minute, she knew he was right, but she knew that they were right too. She just didn't have the guts to tell Bart or Serena for that matter.

"Serena." She whispered her daughter's name.

"Exactly." Rufus was thinking the same thing, only not about Serena, but about Dan. They couldn't be the cause of Dan and Serena possibly breaking up, and Lily knew that would happen. And they couldn't get married or anything because then step siblings would be dating each other, so therefore Dan and Serena would really break up. Lily's mind couldn't take anymore logical thinking.

"But-" Rufus' index finger touched Lily's lips, shushing her.

"We'll figure something out. I know we will." He smiled at her and then she moved to kiss him. He deeply kissed her back…

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Blair listened to her messages, she had about ten of them, which was a new record for not answering her phone for two hours. Five were from Serena saying that she wanted to talk to her. Blair knew if she talked to Serena, she would just be lectured about taking a test to make sure. She was not in the mood for that right then. Four were from Nate. They were sweet and concerned, he just wanted her to call him to make sure she was still living and breathing. They didn't have to talk about anything, he said that a 'hi' would suffice. She smiled at his voice.

The last one thought captured her attention for the rest of the day. It was from Chuck.

"Blair, it's Chuck. Look, I don't know what's going on with you, but I really need to talk to you. So yea…I'll talk to you later then." She replayed it about a million times, trying to find something hidden in the message. What could he possibly want to talk about?

"I guess I should call him back." she told herself as she dialed his number, holding the phone up to her cold ear as she walked towards the limo that was waiting to take her home.

"Hello?" His voice came on the phone, sounding all groggy. Maybe he was drinking, of course he was drinking, why wouldn't he be?

"I got your message." Her tone was cold…it just came so natural to her when she was talking to him. "What do you want?"

"Well hello to you too." Blair overheard him say something to someone in the background and then there was a door slam shortly afterwards.

"Well?" She waited to hear what he wanted, "What do you have to talk to me about?"

"What's been going on with you?" He was now a more _concerned_ Chuck, that kind of scared Blair as she listened to his voice. "You've been distant from everyone for like a week now. Something's going on."

Blair didn't know what to say, she didn't know how to react to Chuck's random act of kindness towards her. She sat in the limo, puzzled and trying to look for something to spark her inspiration as to what to say to him. "Why do you care?" She heard a deep sigh on the other end.

"I don't know why. I just do."

"Well that's helpful."

"I know." he answered quickly. "It's not the best answer in the world, but at least I gave you an answer. You still haven't answered my question."

"Do you know something?" She knew that he knew something, she could tell by his voice.

"Why would you think that?"

"Chuck," she started, "I can tell by your voice that you know something. So tell me, maybe I'll tell you what's up."

"You just love to manipulate people, don't you?" It was a rhetorical question, but she nodded anyways, not like he could hear her nod or anything, but whatever. "All I know is what I've overheard Serena talking to you about."

"You listen to our conversations?" she yelled at him. "Oh, Chuck Bass you are such an ass!"  
"Thank you for the compliment." he answered. He was probably smiling into the phone as well. An uncomfortable silence came over the two of them just as Blair pulled up to her house. "Blair, are you pregnant?"

"What?" she scoffed, getting out of the limo.

"You heard me." Chuck laid on his bed, his back against the mattress and his hand up near his temple, messaging it to relieve the headache he could feel brewing inside his head. "Are you?"

"Chuck, it's none of your business."

"You know a simple yes or no would get me off your back." Blair rolled her eyes as she entered her house, her heels clicking against the floor as she made her way up to her room. "Still haven't said anything."

"That's because, like I already said, it's none of your damn business!" And then she hung up, throwing her phone onto her bed along with her bag and coat.

"Is everything okay?" Blair jumped at her mother's words. She saw her mother, fancily dressed, standing in her doorway playing with the pearl necklace that was around her neck.

"Yea, I'm fine." Her mother nodded and then went her own way, leaving Blair alone again. Blair made it a point to close her door and lock it…

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Blair stood at her bathroom sink, waiting for the test results to come up. She had paced, for like ten minutes, but that didn't get her anywhere even though she tried to convince herself that it would.

_"We need to know, Blair." Serena and Blair were back in Blair's room, sitting on the bed again. "We need to know if you're going to have a baby."_

_Blair shook her head, biting her bottom lip to relieve the crying, "I'm scared." Shivers went up her spine all of a sudden as the fear began to sink into her body._

_"I'll be right here…I promise." Serena told her reassuringly. "I'll be okay."_

When Blair and Serena were together that time, she refused to know. So ever since then, Serena had been bugging her to find out. Why would she want to know anyways? But Blair knew the answer to that question.

Blair's stomach felt like it was going to explode. One, she felt like she was going to throw up. Two, there were so many emotions running through her body at the same time…she was literally going to explode any minute now with the anticipation lingering in the room. The box said it would take about a couple minutes for the results to show…it had already been five! Blair noticed that she was really impatient.

And then it happened. It was positive. She was pregnant.


	5. Just A Dream

Chapter 5 - Just A Dream

_I can't even breathe_

_It's like I'm looking from a distance _

_standing in the background…_

_This can't be happening to me_

_This is just a dream_

January 9, 2008:

"Blair," Nate knocked on his girlfriend's door softly. It was exactly 2:00 in the morning and he was standing at her doorway, "Blair, open up." He waited about a couple minutes before she finally unlocked her door, but she didn't open it. She didn't have to though, Nate just opened it by himself. Blair made her way back to her bed, shivering not because she was cold but because she was terrified. She had never been so terrified in her life and she needed Nate there with her.

"Blair…" Nate slipped his jacket and shoes off shortly after he got in her room and then made his way towards her bed, positioning himself right beside her. She almost looked like she was going to ball up, but his hands stopped her from doing so. "Come here." She turned her body towards him, burying her face into his chest as he wrapped his strong arms around her fragile body. She cried. And cried. And cried some more. All she needed to do was cry.

"I'm not going anywhere, baby." Nate reassured her as she continued to cry, his hands gently soothing her to sleep as the tears started to subside and eventually they both fell asleep.

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Serena walked up the Waldorf steps once again, but she stopped before she went into Blair's room. She saw Nate moving around the room, quickly changing his shirt as Blair continued to sleep.

"Hey," Nate caught Serena outside of the door as he shut Blair's door before they started down the stairs, "what are you doing here?"

"I came to check up on her." Serena answered. "What were you doing there?"

"She called me at two o'clock last night, or this morning I guess." Serena's eyes widened. "She fell asleep crying last night, so I decided to not wake her for school today."

"Is she okay?" she asked as they exited the Waldorf house.

Nate shrugged, "Honestly, I don't know." They stared walking towards the school. "She wouldn't tell me anything last night. I guess she just needed someone to cry on last night…"

"Why wouldn't she call me though?" Serena was puzzled, Nate was puzzled, but they didn't answer each other. Dan had met up with the two friends and Chuck eyed the three of them from behind, he didn't know what they were talking about, but he had an idea. He was curious as to why Blair wasn't there clinging onto Nate with everything she had, he was curious as to where she was…period.

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Dan came home for lunch, he needed a break from the high society gossip that was the talk of the school, heck the talk of the city.

"Hello? Is anyone home?"

"Oh crap!" Lily whispered, ducking her head under the covers of Rufus' bed. And then she reappeared. "I thought you said he doesn't come home for lunch?!" Rufus didn't know what to say. And then Lily disappeared again.

"Dan," Rufus appeared before his son within a matter of minutes, messily dressed in jeans a t-shirt, "what are you doing home?"

Dan laughed, "Nice hair dad. Did you just wake up or something?" Rufus had to nod, he couldn't tell Dan about Lily. "Well nice hair." Dan went into the kitchen and grabbed the bread as Rufus sat down on the stool.

"You still didn't answer my question. What are you doing home?" Rufus grabbed an apple from beside him and bit into it, he actually almost chipped a tooth by doing so.

"Is this like 20 questions or something? Why are you surprised to see me home?"

"Because you never come home during lunch. You're always with Serena." When he said Serena's name, he thought about his affair with Lily. It was so wrong, but neither one of them could resist it. Why would it be so wrong if they go together? Was it just because of Dan and Serena?

"Well, to make you happy," Dan started, "I needed a break from the gossip. There's so much of it, it's unbearable at some times."

Rufus laughed, "Well that's what you get for dating one of the queen bees." Dan nodded and then looked at his watch.

"Wonderful…our talk has taken up my whole lunch break. I'll just eat this on the way back." Dan grabbed his sandwich and his school bag and briskly walked out of their apartment. And Rufus returned to his bedroom.

Lily reappeared, "Is he gone?" Rufus nodded and smiled as he took his clothes off again, slipping under the covers with Lily once again.

"We were talking about your daughter…" Lily's eyes widened with curiosity.

"Oh really? What were you guys saying?"

"It's nothing to worry about." Rufus told her, pushing a blonde strand of hair behind her ear. "He was just whining about the amount of gossip that goes on."

"Well he has to get used to it." Rufus nodded. "She's like the center of it half the time." They both laughed and then he was the one to make the move to kiss her again…

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Blair woke up at round noon. She looked at the clock and immediately started to panic. Of course, Nate wasn't by her side even though she totally expected him to be. Why wasn't she at school? Why didn't Nate wake her up to go?

"Hey," Nate's soft whisper greeted her as he walked in right on cue as she started thinking about him, "I brought you some lunch." He held up a brown paper bag that probably held a bagel of some sort…she was so in the mood for a bagel.

She smiled at him satisfyingly, "Why didn't you wake me up for school?" Nat laughed as he sat in front of her, the brown paper bag resting on his knee.

"You had a rough night last night." he answered, taking the bagel out of the bag. He had one for him and one for her. "I thought that you could use a break from life for a day." His gaze at her was so innocent, he was so sexy right then. She took a bite of the bagel that he had ordered from her, savoring the taste in her mouth.

"Are you okay?" he asked after his first bite. Blair nodded. "Blair, you practically cried all night last night and you wouldn't tell me anything. I didn't question you then, but I need to know if there's something going on."

"Nate," Blair swallowed, "I'm fine now. I just had a really bad day yesterday. That's all." Nate didn't look convinced. She took her hand and gently swept it across his cheek, "I'm fine."

"Okay." he nodded. "You want to talk about it?" She shook her head. "C'mon Blair, we have to be able to tell each other things if this relationship is going to work." Blair knew he was right. She hated it when she knew people were right, she was so used to her being right…not other people.

"I just couldn't deal with everything yesterday." Nate looked at her, confused. "There's been so much pressure from my mother make everything great with you and then to keep my grades up and to be in so many organizations…" She trialed off, "I guess it just all exploded yesterday because I kept it all bottled up inside. My body couldn't take it anymore."

Nate took her hand in with his, "You don't need to worry about us. We're perfect." He winked at her and that made butterflies fly in her stomach. "I promise."

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

When four o'clock rolled around, Blair had to go out. Yesterday she had scheduled a doctor's appointment to really confirm whether she was pregnant or not.

She sat in the room, waiting for the doctor to come back with the test results. She felt like pacing again, but she stayed still and continued to kick her feet back and forth underneath the table.

"Blair," The doctor finally came in, holding a folder full of papers, "the test results came back. And they're positive. You're definitely pregnant."

Blair took in a big breath as she tried to re-grasp the fact that she was having a baby. "Wow…" She felt completely different now. She felt…_motherly_. And it scared her.

"Is there a father I can call or someone that I can call to come in?" Blair shook her head. "Okay then. I'm gonna go through a few guidelines though, if you don't mind." Blair shook her head, and kept shaking her head. She half listened to what the doctor was saying and she zoned out. She was in so much trouble. Her mother was going to rip her head off if she told her.

"You might experience some morning sickness in a few weeks, I'm surprised that you haven't had any already." Blair had snapped back as the doctor continued.

"Why?" she asked surprised.

"Well you're about a month and a half along." That caused Blair to become even more panicked and she didn't know why.

"Anyways, you're going to have to schedule monthly appointments, check up's really, so we can make sure the baby's getting everything it needs." Blair nodded again, she felt like that was all she could do. "And next time, I would really like you to bring either the father or one of your parents…even a friend. I don't want you doing this alone."

"I'll try…"


	6. For You I Will

Chapter 6 - For You I Will

_I'm wandering the streets_

_And a world underneath it all_

_Nothing seems to be_

_Nothing tastes as sweet as what I_

_Can't have _

January 16, 2008:

The doctor was right. Blair was throwing up like constantly for what was now a couple of days. She still hadn't told anyone about the baby, not even Serena. She just couldn't…she didn't know how. Nate had been over every day, she missed the whole week of school and she really didn't know how she could catch up, but Serena kept her distance now when Blair needed her more than ever.

"Blair," Her mother came into her room, concerned for her daughter, "you've been in your room for the whole week. Maybe a little fresh air will do you some good."

"Mom…" Blair tried to speak, but her mother's perfume made her sick…literally. She rushed to the bathroom, making it just in time.

"Honey," Her mother held her hair as Blair threw up the contents of her stomach, which was coincidently nothing, "the fresh air will help, believe me." Blair nodded after she had finished and she quickly washed her face and got dressed, finally relieved when she stepped outside, taking a deep breath of the January air.

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Blair walked…and walked…and walked. For hours, she walked through the park in a daze, bumping into everyone and everything, not caring. Her feet seemed to know where they were going, she completely trusted them, and her eyes wandered all over the place while the wind pushed her hair behind her.

She could feel her phone vibrating in her jacket pocket…and it kept vibrating.

"How could this happen to me?" Blair muttered to herself, soft tears forming in her eyes. Her face burned from the cold January air, but she didn't care.

Her world was falling apart, crumbling around her. And she couldn't stop it…

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Chuck wanted to call Blair, Nate had told him that she had been sick all week. He just had some funny feeling that she was pregnant. And if she was, he wanted to be the father, there was nothing else he would want. But if the kids was Nate's, what was he to do? Be the cool uncle that showered the kid with money?

"Hey," Nate walked into Chuck's house and caught a glimpse of Serena in her room, dancing to a song on her ipod, "what's up?"

"You're watching my sister dance…" Nate's eyes narrowed at Chuck when he said 'sister' and Chuck shook his head as if to tell Nate 'Shame, shame'. "But, no. How's the girl?"

Nate sat down on the couch, "She's really sick. I think she might've caught what Henry had last week. He was out for like ever, I think he's still out."

"Do you really believe that?" Nate looked at Chuck, now confused, and nodded. "She hasn't told you anything?" Nate shook his head, wanting to ask what Blair should've told him. "Oh, never mind then."

"Hey Nate." Serena, out of breath, came out of her room and into the kitchen. "How's Blair?"

Nate shook her head, "Uh, not so good. I was-" He was interrupted by his phone, "oh, I have to take this." He removed himself from the room, going out into the hallway and Chuck followed his new sister into the kitchen.

"Do you know if Blair's pregnant or not?"

"What?" Serena screamed at Chuck, she almost choked on the water she had in her mouth. "Where did you hear that?"

"You talk very loudly." he answered, smiling deviously.

"You eavesdropped on our conversation?" she continued to scream, she really didn't care if Nate overheard. "Chuck you are such an asshole! I can't believe…" She paused, "No, take that back, I _can_ believe that you would do something like that. But to bring it up when _Nate_ is here…" She paused again, "Okay, you _would_ do something like this." She was breathing fire now and the rage and anger completely showed. "I can not believe you!" And then she stormed back into her room.

"Whoa, what was that about?" Chuck shook his head. "Well, I've got to go. That was my dad, he needs to talk to me about something." Chuck nodded, taking his seat on the couch, about to turn the TV on. "I'll talk to you later man." And then Chuck was alone…again.

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Blair's mind, confused with so many different thought and emotions, felt like it was going to explode. She had found a small bench in the park and sat down, the cold, metal bars pressing against her skin, numbing it.

Her stomach turned and she felt herself about to be sick again. And the grass suffered because of it. She wiped her mouth with a napkin that she had found in her coat and washed her mouth out with the water she had brought along in her purse. She quickly popped a mint in her mouth, actually she popped about five mints in her mouth. She hated this…all of it.

Her legs shivered due to the cold and she decided that she needed to walk around more in order to get warm blood moving inside her body again. She looked down at her feet as they stepped and realized that in a couple of months, they would start disappearing. That scared her even more. And then she would feel like a whale close to the due date. That made her mad. And those emotions just added to everything that was piling up inside of her.

She found herself facing Nate's house once again, only now from across the street. She needed him so much right now. She needed to be in his arms and she needed to hear his soft whisper…she needed him. It was that simple.

The sounds of cab hors, people talking and all of the hustle and bustle finally woke her up from her daze. Her eyes blinked quickly, and then she jogged across the street, carefully timing her cross. She didn't want to get hit.

Walking up the cold concrete steps, she could feel tears forming in her eyes again, but they refused to roll down her cheeks. She thought she was past the whole crying stage.

"Ah, Miss Waldorf," The servant opened to door, "come in." She would've mustered up some kind of sarcastic remark, but her brain was too weak to think of one, so she just nodded.

"Mr. Archibald is upstairs."

"Thank you." she whispered as he took her jacket, the arms of the jacket sliding off the sleeves of her blouse.

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Bart wrapped his arms around Lily's waist as she tried to put her earrings on in front of the mirror. He started to softly kiss her earlobe, making it even harder to put the earring in her ear.

"Bart," she smiled, "stop." But he continued. "Bart, stop." And then she pushed him away. He was taken back…surprised. Lily saw his face in the mirror and quickly turned towards him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you." He nodded. "I was just trying to get ready, I know how you hate to be late to events."

"You're right." he finally answered her. "It was my fault and for that, I am truly sorry." Bart continued to get ready, he put his suit jacket on, fastened his tie with the help of Lily, and put his shoes on.

"Is there something going on that I should know about?" Bart spat that sentence out and it was now Lily's turn to be surprised.

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"Well you've been out of it lately." he explained. "You've been gone every day for a long period time. I mean, I know you're a busy woman, but you can't be _that_ busy."

"I've put a lot of work aside to spend time with you and my family, so it's now all catching up with me. That's all." she lied, but she could tell Bart bought it and that's all that mattered to her now. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head, "That's fine." She smiled. "Shall we?" He held his arm out towards her and they proceeded out to the family room to gather the kids. She had definitely dodged a bullet…

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Nate looked so peaceful in the library, quietly reading a big book in a leather chair, the walls of book intrigued Blair as she made her way towards the glass enclosed room, inching closer and closer towards the door.

But she stopped. And Nate saw her stop. She started to panic. He looked up from his book and was surprised to see her standing there. Her mind started to ask all sorts of questions. What was he going to say? How would they deal with it? _Would_ he deal with it?

"Blair," He opened the glass doors, worry was brushed all over his face. She stared at him, he was searching for something in her pained eyes, "What are you doing out of bed?"

And then she jumped into his arms, finally letting her tears fly as she buried her head in his shoulder. He was taken back, but he comforted her, his hand gently sliding up and down her back.

"Shh." he reassured her quietly. He felt so helpless when she cried like this, he didn't know what was going on, she wouldn't tell him anything…there really was nothing he could do.

"Hey," he pulled her into the room once she got her tears under control, closing the door behind her, "what's wrong?"

Blair pulled away from his gently grip on her hand, facing towards the window, "Everything. It's all falling apart." She faced him again, her lips quivering with the news that they held. Well that and she was trying to not be sick in front of him.

"What's falling apart?" His eyes were concerned as they stared deeply into hers. They pierced through her gaze.

"There's something I need to tell you…" He continued to look at her, waiting for what she was going to say. She felt dizzy all of a sudden and he caught her, stabilizing her.

"Sit down." he told her, kind of ordering.

She looked up at him, "You should probably sit down too." His eyes narrowed at her in confusion. He had no clue what was about to hit him and for that, Blair felt so sorry for him. She tried to figure out in her head the nicest way to put it, but nothing was coming to her. They sat in silence for what seemed like forever to the couple…time was going by so slow.

"Blair, what's going on?" His whispered calmed her and she knew that he would be nice towards the news…or so she hoped.

"Okay." She took a deep breath. "Nate, I'm pregnant." Her eyes closed immediately and out of instinct, waiting for his reaction.

Silence was all that surrounded them, even the city beneath them was quiet for once in their life. Blair didn't want to say anything that would push Nate to say something…that was the last thing she needed.

Nate got up slowly, his hand scratching his head. She could tell he was trying to figure out what to say to her. He took deep breaths, over and over again. That seemed to be all he knew how to do at the moment.

"Wow." he finally mustered up. Blair nodded. "Wow." Then it was back to silence.

"Nate, it's a lot to take in. And I'm sorry I had to spring it on you like this, I just didn't know how to tell you." she explained softly. Her hand naturally was on top of her stomach, it was like she expecting some kind of response from the baby growing inside of her.

"That's why you've been sick this week, right?" She nodded. "Why didn't you tell me then? I could've helped."

"You did help." she smiled at him, wanting to get up, but she still felt a little shaky. "You were there almost every second of the day…that helped."

"I'm assuming you're keeping the baby right?" Blair shrugged and that caused to Nate to think even harder than he was doing before. He started pacing in front of her, causing her to want to pace as well because she needed to do some thinking as well. She always did her very serious thinking while pacing, she had no clue why.

"I want to keep it." His voice was soft, Blair almost didn't hear him. "I want to keep the baby and raise it…with you."

Blair smiled, but she couldn't help thinking about the paternity of the baby. What if it wasn't Nate? What if it was Chuck? And then she put her hand to her mouth. "I think I'm going to be sick…"


	7. Stop and Stare

Chapter 7 – Stop and Stare

_I think I'm moving but I go nowhere  
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared  
But I've become what I can't be, oh  
Stop and stare_

January 16, 2008:

Blair came out of the bathroom, faintly smiling at Nate, who was perched up against the wall with his arms crossed on his stomach.

"Are you okay?" he perked up when he noticed her. She nodded. "Are you sure?" She nodded again. She was exhausted, she didn't know if that showed or not, but she was. All she wanted to do was sleep.

"Come here." Nate held out his arms for her and she walked into them, transferring all of her weight onto his frame, her head rested under his chin. They stayed there, in each others arms, for what seemed like an hour, just listening to each other breathe, Blair was listening to Nate's heart pounding…it was a fast beat, she could tell he was nervous.

Nate pulled Blair off of him and stared deeply into her tired eyes, "I think it's best you stay here tonight. It's late and you're tired."

She shook her head, "Nate, I couldn't possibly do tha-"

"It's fine, Blair. Trust me, my parents won't mind." He smiled at her. "Besides, it's not like we haven't slept together before." She wanted to interrupt him, but he continued, "This time, however, it is _strictly_ sleeping in the same bed."

She nodded, "Well, then if you don't mind, I really want to go to sleep."

Nate nodded, quickly taking her hand and leading her upstairs, "Here." He didn't even have time to undo his bed, Blair jumped right under the covers, snuggling up on the pillow. Nate smiled and then turned towards the door.

"Aren't you coming to bed?" Blair asked softly, her eyes refused to stay open at that point.

"Yea. In a minute." She made some incoherent noise and he took that as her being satisfied with the answer.

Truth was, Nate didn't know _if_ he could sleep. So many thoughts were running through his head at the time and he felt like if he didn't solve them right then, the world would end. Well, _his_ world would end. He had to tell someone…and the only logical person was Chuck.

Ah, Chuck…

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Chuck was lying in his bed, staring up at the ceiling, trying to find a pattern in it. That didn't really go anywhere. He wasn't necessarily thinking about one thing, nor was he exactly thinking at all…he was just weird like that. And then his phone vibrated in his hand, a moan escaping from his mouth.

"Nathaniel, it is about midnight. What do you want?" he greeted. Chuck should've been at a party right now, Leslie's to be precise, but he just didn't feel like it…and that scared him to death.

"I need to talk to you." Nate told him.

"If it has to do with you and Blair," he started, rolling his eyes, "I don't want to hear it." But that was a total lie of course.

"Oh, you're going to want to hear this." Nate snorted. "It's about Blair."

Chuck was immediately sitting upright, his back perched up against his headboard, "Go on."

"Well, I don't really now how to say this…"

"Just tell me." Chuck whispered angrily.

"Fine," Nate started, "Blair's pregnant."

Chuck didn't know what to say. Actually, he didn't say anything. Silence. That's all that was heard, even though you can't hear silence, for a long time. Chuck wanted to ask so many questions, but he could tell that Nate had it set in his mind that the baby was his.

And it probably was.

"Wow." he finally spoke up, but his mind still hadn't grasped the news. In fact, it was even more puzzled now. "Wow."

"Yeah." Nate responded softly. "Dude, I don't know how I'm going to tell my parents. They'll probably freak and my ride into Dartmouth is probably shot now…" Chuck listened to Nate ramble on and on, well he half listened while his mind wondered off into his own kind of fantasy land.

"Chuck?" Nate's soft yell snapped Chuck back into their conversation. "What do you think I should do?"

Chuck sighed, "I think what you said was correct. Everything." Nate was about to say something, but Chuck stopped him, "It's obvious to me that you're set on raising this kid with Blair. Just focus on that right now…everything else will fall into place." He heard Nate nod on the other end.

"Thanks man."

"Yeah." And then they hung up. Chuck slid back down into his bed. He was so tempted to text Gossip Girl with the juicy news, but something stopped him…

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Nate quietly tiptoed into his room, making sure to close the door quietly so it didn't squeak and possibly wake up Blair. He started to undo his shirt, unbuttoning the buttons one by one in front of his dresser. The shirt fell to the ground, leaving Nate in a white undershirt and his pants. He ran his fingers through his hair, still letting everything soak in. Actually the only thing that was running through his mind was the fact that he was so dead.

And he was.

He tiptoed over to the edge of the bed, the side where Blair wasn't sleeping, and sat down to slip off his shoes. But he didn't take his shoes off, he just sat there, his head in his hands, softly talking himself down. He needed to calm down. He needed to be calm for Blair.

"Hey," Blair's soft whispered tickled his neck as her arms wrapped themselves around his neck, "you okay?"

"Did I wake you?" he asked, turning his head to look at her.

She shook her head, "No." And then she smiled at him, "C'mon. Come to bed." Nate didn't say anything, he didn't know what to say anymore…to anyone really. Blair hung onto him, gently messaging his neck while they sat there. And they continued to sit there.

"Nate?" She pulled away from him when he made a move to stand up. He felt like pacing, but he didn't. He stood in front of his dresser, looking at himself in the mirror. Well he was darting his eyes between himself and Blair behind him.

"Nate, are you sure your okay?" He undid his belt and then his pants dropped softly onto the ground. He turned back around, headed towards the bed, and slipped quietly under the covers. Blair's head was instantly on top of his bare chest, her head rising with every breath that he took, most of them consisting of deep reassuring breaths.

"I'm fine." he whispered after about a couple minutes. "I'm fine now."

"No you're not." Her response surprised Nate, but she was right. "You can't possibly be okay with everything, I'm not even happy with everything."

"It's just a lot to take in in one night." he replied, taking a strand of Blair's gorgeous brown hair in his finger, twirling it for amusement.

"I know…I know." They laid there in silence, neither one of them had their eyes closed, both were staring at something in Nate's room. Nate continued to play with Blair's hair though, running his fingers through her hair.

"You know tomorrow we have to tell our parents." Nate broke the silence.

Blair shook her head, "Please not tomorrow. Any day _but _tomorrow."

Nate sighed understandingly. "Okay."

"Besides, I already know what they're going to say. My ride to college is gone, you still have a chance so that's good." Blair started to make a list of everything that was going to be mentioned tomorrow morning, or really _that_ morning.

"My dreams of college are gone too you know." Nate blurted once Blair finished. She must've pointed out a million things and Nate was smiling the whole time.

"No. You've got a chance," she explained, her head not propped up on his chest, facing him, "you're not the one that's going to be as big as a whale come five months." She laughed. They both laughed actually.

"You're not going to be as big as a whale."

"Right. You just wait and see." she smiled and then laid her head back down, but this time on the pillow next to him, slowly starting to close her eyes. Nate noticed.

"Good night Blair." he whispered, kissing her forehead before he turned over on his left side.

"Good night babe." she answered him. "I love you." He smiled.

"I love you too."

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

January 17, 2008:

Chuck was devastated come morning. One, he didn't go to Leslie's party the night before. Two, Serena was yelling at him for talking so loudly at midnight the night before…apparently she was trying to sleep. And three, the whole 'Blair was pregnant' thing had him thinking way more than he ever had before. That wasn't a good thing.

"Gosh, Chuck!" Serena yelled. "Thanks to you, I look horrible!" She kept listing things that hadn't gone right for her that morning, expecting Chuck to say some sarcastic remark about her appearance. Chuck didn't make his famous smirk, he didn't laugh, he didn't say anything. And Serena noticed.

"What's your problem? I'm yelling at you and you're not doing anything about it." Chuck looked up from his breakfast, some kind of pancake thing that Bart had cooked…he was in one of those moods, and stared at Serena.

"Huh?"

"Exactly my point." Serena nodded and pulled out a chair, sitting next to Chuck. "What's going on?"

Chuck knew that he wasn't responsible for telling Serena about her best friend. She had to find out on her own. He shook his head, "I'm just tired. That's all." He could tell Serena didn't believe him, but he brushed it off as he got up to go to his room, slamming the door shut behind him.

Chuck plopped down onto his bed, exhausted from everything, and started to think. Could the baby be his? Nate didn't say anything that would've indicated when Blair found out. Why didn't Gossip Girl already know? Wouldn't Blair have been spotted going into the doctors or something? Everyone should've known by now…

What would he do if somehow the baby was his? He couldn't possibly raise a kid, he wasn't exactly the right person for the job…he knew that. His dad wouldn't possibly approve either, not that he really cared or anything what his dad thought. If the baby was his, his friendship with Nate was _so_ over. There would be no way for Nate to get over Chuck sleeping with Blair and not telling him about it, especially they were still together.

Either way, he was dead. That's all that mattered to him.


	8. More Than Anyone

Chapter 8 - More Than Anyone

_I'm gonna love you more than anyone_

_I'm gonna hold you closer than before_

_And when I kiss your soul, _

_Your body'll be free_

_I'll be free for you anytime_

_I'm gonna love you more than anyone_

January 19, 2008:

Nate and Blair walked into the Archibald's kitchen, hand in hand, finding his parents sitting at the table, his mother poking at her food while his father stuffed down the rest of his gourmet breakfast of some type of eggs with a fancy type of bacon.

"Blair," Mrs. Archibald perked up as the young couple entered, "you're here early." Nate looked knowingly at his mom, who refrained from the rest of her thought.

"Can we talk to you?" Nate asked softly. His parents turned towards each other, glancing quickly into each other's eyes. They nodded. Nate pulled out a chair for Blair to take a seat, which she accepted, and then took a seat next to her, his hand finding her knee.

He took a deep breath, "Okay, I guess we should just say it…" He looked at Blair and saw her nod while she stared at the floor, too embarrassed to make direct eye contact with his parents. "Right-"

"Nate, what's going on?" His father was not the patient type, especially when he knew something important was going to come out of someone's mouth.

"Um…" Nate stuttered, "Blair's pregnant."

Silence.

Nate's parents looked from one another and then towards Nate and Blair, their eyes blinking rapidly to digest the news they had just received. The silence that lingered was awkward, Blair cringed from it…she was not expecting this at all.

"Mom?" Nate's soft whisper seemed like he was shouting. Seriously, a pin could've dropped and it would've sounded like a bomb had exploded. "Dad?"

Mr. Archibald cleared his throat which seemed to bring him back into the world, "Wow." That's all he could say and he looked nervously over to his wife, begging for her to start a conversation.

"Well," she started, "that's something." The young couple nodded, their hands getting sweaty from nerves. "Blair, are you sure it's Nate's?"

"Mom!" Nate yelled surprised. "How could you ask something like that?"

His mother looked at him and then directed her attention to the frightened girl in front of her, "I'm not trying to imply anything by asking Blair. I was just trying to make sure that you knew."

Blair nervously smiled, nasty remarks ran through her head, and she hesitatingly answered, "I'm sure Mrs. Archibald."

"Okay. Well, Nate, I think your father and I have to discuss some things, so if you don't mind…" Nate stood up, Blair's hand still in his grasp and they both walked slowly out of the kitchen.

"I am so sorry about that." Nate turned Blair's body towards him, taking her tiny body in his grasp, "She had no right to ask you such a question." His head shook against hers and she sighed a breath of relief…that was finally over.

But now she had to tell her mother…and Serena. _Wonderful_, she thought.

Blair made a move to pull away, smiling when Nate's eyes gently gazed at her, "I have to go." He nodded and pulled her in again for one last quick hug. "I'll talk to you later."

"Yea." His hand dropped to his side when she started walking away towards the stairs. His mouth opened to say something else, but Blair had already disappeared down the hallway, she was probably almost to the door by then.

Blair's arms suddenly got goose bumps on her way down the Archibald staircase, she didn't know why, but she guessed nerves and relief combined. Who knew that resulted in goose bumps? She laughed silently.

"Blair, wait!" She quickly turned around to see Nate running towards her, skipping steps in the process. He stopped just before running into her, which wouldn't have been good, and bent over to catch his breath.

"Nate, what is it?" Blair looked concerned, something couldn't have possibly happened in the twenty seconds she had left. Nate picked his head up, smiled and then gently pressed his lips on hers, his hand caressing her cheek at the same time. Their lips parted slightly and Nate's tongue beckoned to go inside of Blair's mouth, but Blair pulled away. "That's what you wanted?"

He nodded, a confused look spreading across his face, "Are you surprised?" Blair didn't know what to say. She felt so confused about so many things that she started questioning her feelings for Nate. That was not a good thing.

"Um, I don't know." Nate grinned.

"Well I hope that's a good thing." He planted another quick kiss on his girlfriend's warm lips before she pulled away, exiting with the excuse of 'My mother doesn't know I'm gone, I'll be in so much trouble.'

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Chuck wasn't the same person since Nate told him about Blair. And everyone noticed, especially Serena. He wasn't going after any girls, there was no drinking, and there were no sarcastic remarks or looks. And it actually surprised Serena when she started to worry about him. She actually hit herself for doing so.

"What's your problem?" Serena threw herself down onto the couch while Chuck was sprawled out in the chair, the TV remote firmly resting in his hand. He turned his head towards her, and then returned his vision to the TV. Well, this just made Serena mad. "Seriously Chuck, what is wrong with you?"

"Why do you care?" he spat out. Serena gasped quietly, but it didn't mean that Chuck didn't notice it. "Oh, please. You don't actually care about me, so why would you want to know what my problems are?"

"Fine." She stood up, straightening out her silk shirt and headed off towards her room. And then she returned, her backpack draped over her shoulder while her purse was swinging from her arm, "I was just trying to be nice, but I guess I can't be."

Chuck rolled his eyes, "That's right." Serena, who was almost out the door, stopped surprised. She glanced over her shoulder at her soon to be stepbrother and narrowed her eyes, "You can't be nice."

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Blair waited impatiently for the elevator doors to open, not that she wanted to face her mother. That would mean that she would have to tell her about the baby…and that wouldn't turn out too well, she already knew her mother's reaction.

"Come on, come on." Blair muttered to herself, rushing the elevator by pressing buttons. She was surprised the elevator didn't get stuck suddenly with the amount of buttons she was pressing at the same time, she had all of them down at the same time.

The doors finally opened and Blair sighed in relief as she stepped out onto the marbled tile in her foyer.

"Blair Waldorf," her mother screamed from the bottom of the stairs. Blair rolled her eyes, "where have you been?"

"Well good morning to you too mother." Her mother didn't look very impressed with her remark and Blair mentally enjoyed that.

"Don't get smart with me young lady," Blair rolled her eyes at her mother's pointing of her index finger, "where were you?" Her mother followed her into the small parlor room, watching her daughter throw her belongings onto the couch before she crashed beside them.

"Blair, what's going on?" Her mother was concerned now, Blair could tell by her raised eyebrows, which was kind of a first for her. Blair fished around in her mind for a way to delicately put her pregnancy out there, but again, there was nothing she could come up with. Nothing that she was about to say would make her mother happy or at least satisfied with her, she already knew that. Her mother sat in front of her, on the coffee table, which was also unlike her, with her hands fastened tightly together, almost as if she was about to pray.

"Mother, you have to promise me that you will just listen to me before you say anything." Blair finally said, her mother nodding anxiously. "I didn't mean for this to happen, one the way it did and two when it happened. You have to know that I am so sorry…" Tears started forming in Blair's eyes and her body started shaking…her nerves were starting to take control of her again.

"Blair," Her mother moved closer to her and rubbed her daughter's back gently, trying to calm her down, "what are you sorry for?"

Blair looked directly into her mother's eyes, she was scared about what was going to happen, but she whispered it under her breath, "I'm pregnant."

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Nate stood at the kitchen counter, staring at the good looking sandwich that was on a plate in front of him. For some reason, he wasn't in the mood for food. His emotions were getting the best of him…it was about time. His parents were still talking about the whole Blair situation. He desperately wanted to know what they were thinking, what they were saying.

It was in that moment that he realized that he was not very patient. He couldn't stand waiting around, especially when he was somehow involved in the situation. This time, however, he was somewhat involved…he kind of caused it. Well he half caused it.

He snapped out of his zone and returned to debating over whether or not to eat.

"Nathaniel," His parents came into the room hand in hand and stood across from their son, "We've thought about everything and we've decided to support you and Blair in whatever way."

Nate was somewhat confused and surprised. He wasn't sure if it was an act or if they were really sincere about everything.

"Really?"

They nodded, "But, there are some things we need to talk about." Mrs. Archibald motioned for her son to sit down at the table once again and she followed, her husband trailing behind her. "We think that it would be best that you and Blair get married."

"Mom-" Nate tried to speak, but his father stopped him.

"Nathaniel, we know that you two love each other very much and you'll end up married to her sometime in the future, why not just get married now? Especially with the baby coming." his father explained wisely while his mother nodded.

"You still have the engagement ring that we gave you right?" Nate nodded and saw his mother beaming with joy. "Great! You just need to propose to Blair and then she can move in so we can help you guys out with the baby and I guess we'll need to renovate one of the rooms to be a nursery-"

"What?" Nate shook his head, trying to process everything his mother was rambling on about. "Did I hear that Blair was moving in?"

"Oh of course, sweetie. I mean, if you two are going to be married and raise this baby together, it only makes sense for her to move in here." Nate shook his head. "And besides, here there's two of us to help take care of the baby instead of just her mother."

"Mom, she's not going to like that idea." He protested by getting up out of his chair and redeeming his untouched sandwich. Taking a bite, he continued to talk, "It's Blair we're talking about here, mother. She's not going to leave all of her stuff behind…"

Mr. and Mrs. Archibald looked at each other, confused. They couldn't understand why their son was objecting to his girlfriend being with him all the time…that was something usually teenage boys would be happy about.

"But those are our conditions, Nathaniel." His father reiterated, taking his wife's hand with his and tightly squeezing it as if signaling something. "If you can't agree to those, then we can't agree to supporting the two of you."

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Blair's back was against her bedspread, her arms up over her eyes to hide her crying and her apparent disappointment with her mother's reaction. How could her mother yell at her like that? Who was she to say the things she said?

_"What did you just say?" Her mother picked Blair's head up out of her hands and glared into her daughter's glassy eyes._

_"I don't want to repeat it, please. I know you heard me." Blair's voice was raspy, the tears were not going to subside anytime soon, she knew that._

_"I can't believe this." Ms. Waldorf got up and started pacing in front of the two large windows. Now Blair knew where she got that gene. "I can _not _believe this!"_

_"Mom," Blair tried to muster something up, but she just couldn't._

_"Blair, how could you throw your life away?! I thought that you would've learned from what I told you, but I guess I couldn't have expected a miracle." Blair's mouth must have dropped to the floor, she couldn't believe what her mother was saying. Maybe it was just the shock talking, not her actual mother._

_"Who's the father? It better not be that Chuck kid. He's just so…sarcastic and he's way too into his appearance, I find that a problem…"_

_"It's Nate mother." Her mother stopped pacing and turned towards Blair, her eyes big with more shock. "Nate's the father."_

Blair's eyes were drying out, she didn't think she had any more tears left to cry. Her stomach started to quiver, she knew that she had to move fast or else she wouldn't make it to the bathroom in time to empty her stomach. She flew off of the bed and made it just in time.

"Blair." The creak of her door alarmed her that someone was in her room and the low voice assured her that it was boy.

"In here." she called and in about a minute she saw Nate's head appear, his face growing concerned when he laid eyes on his girlfriend sitting on the cold, tiled floor. Blair gave him a faint smile and then rushed to her feet, quickly brushing her teeth and washing her face.

"Are you okay?" he asked gently and she nodded as she dried her face with the small pink towel. "You sure?" She nodded again, leading him out of the bathroom and she sat on the edge of her bed as he continued to stand in front of her.

"What are you doing here?" Blair looked up at Nate and he smiled.

"Funny you should ask that…"

Blair raised her eyebrows in suspicion, "Why is that funny babe?"

Nate chuckled softly as sat on the heels of his feet, bouncing as he tried to regain his balance, "Well…I've been thinking," Blair smiled and let out a whisper laugh. "You can laugh all you want, but I've been thinking. Why wait for forever? Why not start now?"

His nerves were rushing through his whole body and Blair could tell something was going on. The small velvet box that held the ring was in his pants pocket, he could feel the seams of the box almost busting through the pants fabric as he was kneeling and his hands were getting sweaty, he kept wiping them against either the ground or his pants so subtly that he thought that Blair didn't notice that he was getting nervous. But he was wrong. She noticed everything.

He had practiced a speech in front of the mirror for about two hours, each time it changed in some way, and now when he needed to remember what he said the most…his mind totally blanked. He hated when that happened. He tried to calm himself down by rearranging things in his mind, trying to find a song that would calm him down, but that made him even more nervous because he was afraid of saying the lyrics out loud.

"Nate, what's going on?" Blair finally spoke after about two minutes of the uncomfortable silence that had prolonged for too long.

Nate took Blair's hand in with his, "Blair I love you so much and I can't wait any longer, I actually don't have to." He started laughing to release his nerves, Blair just looked at him in a weird manner. "And before you say anything, this has nothing to do with the baby. I promise to protect both of you from everything in the world if I have to, you could call me SuperNate or something like that."

"Nate-"

"Blair," His tone was a more serious one now, "You make me a better person. You teach me a lesson every single day, and some guys may find it annoying, but I find it intriguing. You're the most beautiful person I have ever met and one of the smartest as well, I'm just so lucky to have found someone like you to share my life with."

Nate let Blair's hand drop to her side as he reached for the black velvet box in his pocket. Blair gasped quietly when she realized what it was and her hands shakily rose to her cover her mouth in shock. Nate looked directly into his girlfriends eyes, which were now tearing up with joy, and saw them glitter at him, making his stomach twist and turn.

He held the box in his hands, stroking the velvet different ways, "So why wait to start forever? Let's start our life together now…you know, the longer the better." He smiled at her and she continued to sit there in complete and utter shock, she just couldn't believe it. Nate took her silence as a good sign. He slowly properly got down on one knee and opened the box, revealing his grandmother's engagement ring that was antiquely beautiful. The rustic, but new look gave the ring that special, unique quality. To know that there was no other ring like it made Blair feel…well she just couldn't describe it. "Blair Waldorf, will you marry me?"

Blair's eyes moved from Nate to the beautiful ring that his hands held for about a minute, and to Nate it felt more like a year. She thought about how she could answer his question smoothly, she tried to connect the millions of thoughts that were running through her head at that moment, but she never succeeded.

Instead, she just nodded her head, speechless at everything that was happening. Nate's heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest in happiness and his smiled radiated for a million miles. She held out her head, it shook in the air, and he slowly took out the ring from the box, slipping it gently over her finger.

They sat there for a couple minutes, admiring how perfect the ring looked on Blair's finger and then they just jumped onto one another. Nate pushed Blair gently back onto her bed as he was careful not to crush her fragile body as he yearned to make out with her. But he hesitated, he didn't want to hurt her in any way that could possibly have hurt the baby. Instead of climbing over top of her body, Nate was to the side, but still towering over her. They looked at each other and then they darted their eyes from the eyes to the lips, questioning each other as to who was going to make the first move.

It was Nate. It was always Nate, but he definitely didn't mind. He lowered down to her lips, they both parted their lips, but they kind of half missed and half touched as they slowly started to kiss each other. Blair's lips were warm against Nate's, they were smoother as well, but that was because of her obsession with lip gloss.

It was different this time though, both of them were more cautious of what they were doing. They were thinking about their actions before and while they were happening. It scared Blair, she didn't know about Nate, but it scared her. Their kissing stopped after about a minute.

Nate laid down next to Blair, taking her hand and interlaced it in with his, "I meant what I said." Blair's head turned to the side so that she was facing him, her eyes asked what he meant. "About protecting you and the baby from everything. I would do anything for you two in a second…I don't even have to think about it. Whatever you need, I'll be there for you."

Blair smiled sweetly, "I know you will be babe." She now took his hand and, with hers overtop of his, placed it on her stomach as if they would feel the baby answer them back. It didn't have to though, they knew that it was inside of Blair…and that moment was perfect for the new family. Blair finally felt as though everything was going to be okay. For the first time in a long time, she felt secure. And it was weird because it was in a situation that she though would completely change her life for the worse. It was the complete opposite.

"Oh!" Blair sat up quickly, "I have to go tell my mother!"


	9. Thunder

Chapter 9 - Thunder

_Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer_

_Do you know you're unlike any other_

_You'll always be my thunder_

_Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors_

_I don't want to ever love another_

_You'll always be my thunder_

January 25, 2008:

"Okay," Blair's mother clapped her hands together, the sound echoed throughout the church, and everyone turned their attention towards her standing in the middle of the aisle. The church was packed with people, all of which were part of the wedding. "We're going to try to attempt this rehearsal in some kind of organized manner."

"That'll never happen." Chuck sat in the very back pew by himself. He was the best man, but he just couldn't deal with everything that he had to handle. He had to make a speech to his best friend and his soon to be wife whom he was kind of in love with. That was just twisted. Oh and because Serena was the maid of honor, he had to walk down the aisle with her. He shook his head.

He droned Blair's overpowering mother's voice out as he focused on the couple that was in the front of the church, holding onto each other as if they were never going to see each other again. They were attached at the hip. "Ew." Chuck cringed. He couldn't understand why he accepted to be Nate's best man. He couldn't understand anything that had been going on in the last couple weeks. He just went along with all of it.

Blair looked beautiful and radiant as she stood next to her fiancé. She had this different vibe around her ever since she found out about the baby and Chuck realized that she had never been happier. He imagined her walking down the aisle in a beautiful white gown with a veil that masked her identity, even though everyone would know who she was. He smiled secretly at the picture in his mind…

"Chuck!" His name was projected into the church air and his dreaming had to stop. He perked up and looked around to see who called his name and he soon saw Nate waving him to join them up front. They were organizing everyone in the front according to their position in the wedding.

"Ugh." He groaned to himself and he stood up very lazily and walked down the aisle as if he was the bride: left foot, together, right foot, together. He chuckled, he was having fun slowing everything down.

"Chuck, c'mon!" Both Blair and Serena screamed his name and he rolled his eyes at them. He didn't listen though, he continued to pester everyone…that was his specialty. He dragged his big feet against the somewhat maroon colored carpet as he neared the altar and he heard everyone groan in annoyance, some of them may have been disgust…he didn't care.

"Okay, _Chuck_" Ms. Waldorf spat his name out, wanting to get rid of it as soon as possible, "you can stand right next to Nate since you _are_ his best man. Serena, you're next to Blair…"

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

"So you're helping with the wedding of the century as well?" Rufus walked into Lily's hotel room and scanned all of the wedding decorations, seating arrangements and everything else that Blair thought was necessary for her wedding had to be perfect.

Lily nodded, "Yep. Serena's the maid of honor, so it just seems natural I help with something." Rufus smiled at her, hesitating in whether or not he should've approached her or not, in fear that Bart was in the room next door watching their every move. "Don't worry, he's out of town until Sunday."

Rufus grinned a confident smile as he walked over to her, kissing her gently on the lips before he kissed her hair, sitting down next to her as if he was going to help her with the arrangements.

"Was there a point to this sudden visit?" Lily joked and Rufus chuckled. "I do have to get back to work."

"Uh huh," Rufus ran his fingers through her blonde hair, "sure you do." His lips were warm against her neck and she tilted her head in pleasure…

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Chuck was pushed into a line of what looked like 20 other guys and 20 girls were lined up next to them.

"Well this should be fun," he whispered to Serena, his partner, and she just rolled her eyes. Chuck lowered his hand, trying to take Serena's hand in his grasp, but she noticed and quickly pulled her hand away.

"What the hell are you doing?" Serena yelled, her face getting red with anger.

"We're supposed to rehearse, so that's what I'm doing." He finally ginned _his_ smirk that had been hidden for the last couple of days. Chuck Bass was finally returning to his normal self. "That's the whole point of this thing, right?"

"Chuck, we're not holding hands." Serena snapped. "The least we'll do is link arms." Chuck rolled his eyes. "And besides," She stated again, "there are a lot of innocent girls here that you _haven't_ gotten a hold of. Go for them."

"Why, Serena, you're such a sweet sister…hoping for the best for me." She scoffed and then turned her back, engaging in a conversation with Dan about his suit for the big day while Chuck rolled his eyes as they fell on Blair in the back of the line, smiling brightly and laughing with a couple of girlfriends as she showed off her beautiful engagement ring.

"Why?" he muttered to himself, under his breath. "Why did I agree to this?"

"Hey." Chuck jumped at the sudden approach of Nate, who was beaming with excitement, and the feel of Nate's hand on his shoulder. Nate noticed and took a step back. "Are you okay?" Chuck nodded. "Okay…"

"I'm fine," he reassured him, "I promise."

Nate was hesitant in believing him, but he didn't push him on it. "Well I just wanted to say thanks for doing this. I mean, I know it's not really your kind of thing, but it means a lot to me." He held out his hand for Chuck to shake, which he did, and then they shared a short hug.

"No problem. I'm happy to oblige."

"Um, question…" Chuck looked inquisitively at his friend. "Do you have everything ready? The honeymoon arrangements, the rings, the best man speech?"

Chuck nodded, "It's been done for a couple days now…I had it taken care of."

"Are you sure?"

"Ah, Nathaniel," Chuck pulled Nate aside in his famous manner, "do you suddenly not trust me?" Nate shook his head. "Then don't worry about it. All you have to do is show up to this church tomorrow morning, happy and charming, and then say your "I do's" to your wonderful and beautiful fiancé. Then there's the reception, oh, just remember all the dance classes that we have had to endure, and of course…" Chuck shot Nate a dirty look and nudged his friend in the side, "the wedding night." Nate smiled. "That's it." Nate nodded, sighing relief, releasing immense nerves that were starting to build up. "That's all you should worry about."

"Yeah," Nate agreed and smiled a small smile as he turned towards Chuck, "you're right."

"I'm always right." Nate scoffed jokingly. "You should know that by now."

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

"So what time does he get back?" Rufus suddenly asked Lily as they exchanged looks from across the coffee table, both finishing the touches on the seating placement cards for the reception.

"What?" Lily was shocked and he shot her a look that told her she should stop acting like she didn't know what he was talking about. She sighed. "Um, about 12 in the afternoon."

"Ah." He nodded.

"Why?"

"I was just wondering."

She laughed, "And is this where I'm supposed to believe you?" Rufus nodded silently and focused immensely on the small little card that held his son's name on it, tracing the initials of Blair and Nate into the corner and then placed the table number on the inside of it.

"Why is it important to you?" She asked again, this time rephrasing it. "Why must you know his whereabouts all the time?"

Rufus looked at her as though she was crazy. "You've got to be kidding me, right?" Lily refused to answer, even though Rufus was sure she knew the answer to both of her questions. "If you haven't noticed or if you don't remember, what we're doing isn't exactly what happens when people are married." He placed the small card on the glass coffee table and got up off the floor, sitting in the chair across from the blonde woman. "I mean, we've had sex…" Lily nodded, smiling. "Countless times. That's what people classify as an affair."

"And?"

"Well, of course to you it doesn't really mean much." He laughed. And then he was serious again. "I just don't want to get caught, Lily. I really thought you understood that."

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

"Mmm." Blair wrapped her arms tightly around Nate as they stood in Blair's foyer. They had decided that on the eve of their wedding, they would go traditional and not see each other until the wedding. So Blair was staying with her mom and Nate was going back to his house…both were going to be alone, but they felt as though it was worth it.

"I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight." Nate brushed Blair's hair behind her ear, caressing her cheek softly after with his thumb as they gazed deeply into one another's eyes.

"Well, just think of it this way." Blair smiled, "The faster you go to sleep, the faster tomorrow will come."

"Good point." They chuckled lightly, her high pitched laugh and his middle-toned soft laugh completely complimented each other, and then he engulfed her in a tight hug once more. "I should be going. If I want tomorrow to be here, I better get to bed." He winked at her, making Blair's stomach quiver in happiness.

"Yea, that might be a good idea. I'm tired anyways."

"Exactly," He kissed the crown of her forehead, "We don't need you to be sleep deprived." They stood silently for a couple seconds and then Nate pulled his fiancé closer to his body, pressing her stomach against his as he took her lips in with his.

"I love you so much Blair." He breathed into her hair as they started to pull away. "I can't believe how lucky I am."

"Go!" Blair pushed him away playfully. "If you don't leave now, you'll never leave." He smiled as he pushed the elevator button, and as he waited, they exchanged funny and wacky faces to keep the mood light. And then the door opened and Nate started to disappear.

"I love you too!!" Blair screamed after him as the doors started to close. She placed a hand over her flat stomach, even though it wouldn't be flat for very long. "Tomorrow, baby." She whispered down to her baby, hoping for some sign that it was listening. "Tomorrow we'll be a family…a nice, happy family. I promise." She turned on her heels and then headed up to _her_ bed for the last time.


	10. In Love With A Girl

**AN:** I am SO sorry about the long update wait. I had the hardest time writing this chapter and then with school starting, the whirlwind of chaos started again and I had absolutely no time to write. However, when I watched Gossip Girl on Monday, the Chuck and Blair scenes inspired me to start writing this story again. Enjoy!!

Chapter 10 – In Love With A Girl

_  
And she knows how to treat a fella right,  
Give me that feeling every night,  
Wants to m__ake love when I wanna fight,  
Now someone understand me,  
I'm in love with a girl_

January 26, 2008 (11:33 AM):

Chuck watched the woman he hardly recognized walk down the aisle, her arm linked in with her fathers as she was careful of not tripping over her long, beautiful white gown. He could see her eyes filling up with tears as she concentrated on Nate standing at the altar before her, but he knew she wouldn't let one fall because it would ruin her makeup. She looked flawless.

Nate descended down the altar and stood right in front of Blair and her father. She gave a kiss to her dad on the cheek just before he handed her away to the young boy. Nate and Blair smiled at one another, Chuck thought that they were going to explode with happiness, and they walked up towards the priest.

Chuck couldn't help but watch Blair's every move; he was captivated by her, especially in that dress. She turned to give Serena her bouquet and then when she faced Nate again, he lifted her hand, kissing it gently.

"We are all gathered here today to join these two in holy matrimony." The priest addressed the guests loudly, almost shouting in the ears of the young couple as they faced each other, their hands interlocked in one another's tightly. "If anyone feels as though these two should not marry, speak _now_ or forever hold your peace."

Blair and Serena's eyes fell on Chuck standing behind Nate, even Nate glanced quickly over his shoulder, but he just gave them a small shrug. But he knew that it was his time to finish what he had been trying to say to Blair for a couple weeks now, it was _his_ time, Blair was meant for him.

But he stayed still and quiet.

The very uncomfortable silence didn't last very long, "Very good. Now-"

Chuck shook his head, "I'm sorry." Coming from behind Nate, he locked eyes with Blair once again and saw her eyes fill with rage to replace the joyous tears from a minute ago. Serena, Eric, Bart, and Lily all dropped their heads in embarrassment while Nate was just confused.

"Blair," He took a couple of steps forward, he wanted to be closer to her, "you can't do this." His hand wanted to reach for hers and just bring her into his arms, but he resisted the urge and settled for looking deeply into her eyes. "I can't let you do this."

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

(9:17 AM):

"Oh my goodness," Blair dropped into the plush couch inside the church dressing room, her hands naturally falling on top of her stomach, "can you believe this?"

Serena shook her head as she looked around the spacious, elegant room. "This is crazy, B." She heard her friend laugh and turning to look at her, she smiled. "But you're happy, and that's all that matters."

Blair smiled, "Yea, Nate makes me really happy."

"And soon," Serena plopped down next to Blair, causing both of them to slightly jump in the air, "you'll be the new Mrs. Archibald." Blair's face scrunched up at the thought of having the same name as Nate's mother, she didn't quite like her, but it didn't matter. The two girls started laughing hysterically cause of Blair's face just as more people entered the room.

Nate and Chuck were forced to just stand there with confused looks as they watched the two girls rolling around laughing. Nate glanced by his side towards Chuck, both just shrugging their shoulders.

"Um," Nate finally spoke up and the girls quickly tried to stop laughing, "did we interrupt something?" Serena and Blair shook their heads and then giggled a little bit more just before the room got quiet again.

"What are you guys doing here? I thought we agreed on not seeing each other until the wedding day…" Blair stood up as Nate walked towards her, engulfing her in a tight embrace.

"Well, today is the wedding day." Chuck answered her as Serena took her place right beside him, both watching Nate and Blair interact.

Nate looked at Chuck, "Exactly." He faced his fiancé once again and pulled her body closer to him, "Besides, I couldn't take another minute without seeing you." Blair's heart melted at his words and she pulled his lips towards her. Serena and Chuck felt uncomfortable and looked away as Blair and Nate started to part their lips.

"Ew," Chuck didn't need it rubbed in his face anymore than it already was with all the rehearsals, talk, and arrangements that were all over society by that time, "Nate, I think it's time we started getting ready."

The couple pulled apart unwillingly and they both realized that Chuck was right. "Yea."

"Hey," Blair looked in his blue eyes, "I'll see you soon. I promise." She gave him a quick kiss, smiling.

Nate hung his head by Blair's abdomen, taking his hand and rubbing her flat stomach, "Okay, baby…you heard mommy, she promised she wouldn't leave me at the altar," Blair watched, pushing strands of hair out of her sight as she felt Nate's hand run gently across her stomach, "you make sure she keeps it."

"Nathaniel, that's a lot of responsibility for a baby."

Nate chuckled softly, "I love you Blair." He kissed the forehead and then turned to leave.

"I love you too."

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

(9:47 AM):

"You look…" Rufus watched Lily emerge from Blair's dressing room, dressed in a tight fitting cream colored dress accessorized with pear jewelry, "…stunning."

Lily smiled, "Thanks. You don't look bad yourself." Rufus chuckled lightly. And then there was an awkward tension between the former lovers. He wanted to run and kiss her, Lily wanted to run into his arms and have him kiss her, but they both knew Bart was lurking around somewhere in the church…not to mention the presence of Dan, Jenny, Eric, Serena, and Chuck.

"Lily-" Rufus started to take leaps towards her, but she pushed him away. "I'm so sorry."

She looked into his soft eyes and smiled weakly. "It's okay."

"Ah, Lily," Bart rounded the corner just as Rufus and Lily were about to hug, and the couple quickly distanced themselves from each other. Bart gave Lily a quick peck on the cheek, "I've been looking all over for you."

Rufus laughed, "Sorry Bart. I had to borrow her for a few seconds." Bart looked worried at the statement. "I couldn't find my son and I was wondering if Lily had seen him." Bart nodded his head.

"Exactly," Lily piped up. "But I hadn't, so it wasn't a very successful meeting." She was nervous, Rufus noticed when she kept smiling unnecessarily and then rambling on about different things. Finally, she put her fingers to her temples, rubbing them gently, "Well, now that you've found me, why don't we go take our seats?" Taking Bart's hand, Lily shot a glance at Rufus as the couple walked towards the front doors of the chapel.

And Rufus was once again alone.

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

"So this is the end of our friendship." Chuck and Nate stood side by side in front of the mirror, each fiddling with their neck wear; Chuck wore a black tie while Nate wore a black bowtie.

"What?" Nate looked surprisingly at his friend through the mirror.

"Well, I mean like all the late partying," Nate hung his head as he chuckled softly, "the numerous girls that we picked up, all the drinking and drugs…" He pulled the tie through the hole and then started tightening it, "it's all over now."

Nate gently placed his hand on Chuck's shoulder in a reassuring manner, "Not all of it." His grin gave everything away and Chuck's smile widened with a sense of evilness. "Look, I know you're not one for 'talks'…"

"Oh, Nathaniel, you tend to misjudge me at times." He directed Nate over to their own sitting area, just like the girls had in Blair's dressing room, and they sat down, sinking into the soft cushions.

"In a sense, you're right…" Chuck took pride in that acknowledgement, "it's going to be different from now on. I wouldn't say its limited, but…"

"I understand, Nate." Chuck interrupted, "You've got bigger things to worry about. There's no room for messing up." Nate smiled weakly. "You and Blair are a growing family."

Nate's eyebrows rose in realization, "Yea."

"But," Chuck's tone turned more and more serious by the second, "I'll be here for you, Blair, and the baby. Anything you need…" It was a sincere moment when the boys met eyes, "just let me know." Nate nodded graciously and they pulled each other in for a quick, yet meaningful hug.

"You sure do know how to give speeches."

"Yea," Chuck laughed to himself, "speaking of which, I think I need some air. I don't want to get too emotional before the ceremony."

Nate watched Chuck walk towards the door, his personality was lacking in his walk and he knew that something was running through Chuck's mind that made him more uncomfortable than usual. "Are you sure you're okay, man?"

Chuck nodded, "Yea, don't worry. I'll be back soon."

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

(10:30 AM):

Chuck hesitated to open Blair's dressing room door, his hand grasped the gold knob and never made a single move to turn it. He was scared…simply put. And even though he had practiced what he was going to say to her about a million times that day, he knew he would blank at the most important part.

"Chuck." Serena opened the door, surprisingly greeting Chuck as they both stepped back abruptly. "What are you doing here?"

"Um," he stuttered, "I need to talk to Blair." His eyes distanced themselves from his soon to be sister towards the girl behind her, who was joyously twirling around in her princess-like white gown in front of the mirror…she was breathtaking.

Serena watched Chuck's eyes glisten with Blair's reflection and she couldn't help but smile. But the smile was painful; she could tell he was having the hardest time just watching everything happen…she could tell that Chuck's heart was breaking every time he saw Blair and Nate together or even heard about the and she felt sorry for him.

Chuck focused on Serena again, "Would that be okay?"

She nodded, "I guess it wouldn't hurt." As she left, she smiled at him and he returned the gesture as she gently touched his shoulder just as he was finally alone with Blair.

Chuck crept into the room, softly closing the door behind him and Blair didn't seem to notice that Serena and Chuck had switched places. His walk towards her seemed endless, he could feel his heart pounding out of his chest and he swore that sweat was starting to descend down his face. But when he finally reached her, it all went away…all the nerves, the nervous feeling inside was replaced with sheer adoration as he glanced over her appearance. He was speechless.

"Serena," Blair turned around sharply, but stopped her words when her eyes fell on Chuck just standing there, "oh." Her eyes wandered over his body. She always knew Chuck cleaned up well for high profile events, but there was something different about him today that caught her attention. His black tux was form fitting to his muscular body, which was nothing new, and his white shirt and tie were all nicely pressed and presentable. But it must have been the way his hair fell in his face that really caught her breath. Strands of brown hair fell right in his line of vision, hiding the brown eyes that captivated her at times, "oh."

"Hi."

Blair was immersed in his appearance, but quickly shook it off, "What are you doing here?" Chuck laughed when her face turned from the beauty it was a couple of seconds ago to the normal bitchy one that was always directed towards him. "Aren't you supposed to be with Nate trying to calm him down or something?"

He shook his head and whispered, "No." Their eyes locked and he held her gaze, trying to stay true to his normal self, but Blair could see the vulnerability starting to seep through his eyes.

"Chuck…" Her face fell to the ground and her hands fiddled with her dress as Chuck came closer to her.

"Blair," His hand caressed her cheek, his thumb ran softly along her chin and he could feel her give into his touch as her head started to lean against his hand and her eyes gently fluttered at every touch, "I need to talk to you."

Her stomach quivered, but not because of the baby, because she had a feeling that she knew what he was going to say. She quickly pulled away and turned her back, "No."

"But-"

She shook her head, turning back around to face his pained expression, "I know what you're going to say and I can't handle doubting myself or my relationship with Nate because of what you're going to say." As she continued to shake her head, all Chuck could do was gaze down at the floor cause he knew his cover was blown.

"Blair," he whispered and pulled her waist towards him, pressing her body close to his. There were no words between them and the silence took over their thoughts. Chuck's dark colored eyes watched Blair as she looked deeply into his eyes with the occasional look at his lips as though she was going to kiss him. They inched closer; Chuck could feel Blair's breath on his face as his forehead was centimeters from him, "you can't go through with this."

"And why not?" she whispered, starting to give in to his pull.

Chuck pushed a piece of brown hair out of Blair's face, "Because you can't be with someone who isn't for you."

Her eyebrows rose questioningly and she took a small step back, "So now Nate's not for me? Well, you can tell that to our child when he or she gets here…"

Chuck's head fell and he closed his eyes as he pressed his hand to his forehead, "That's not what I meant."

"Well I don't know what other way there is to take that statement other than the fact that he's horrible for me." Her eyes were angrily staring at Chuck, he knew he made a huge mistake, and she turned towards the mirror again, quickly fixing her hair that Chuck had managed to mess up.

"Blair," He whisked her around and just as quickly as they had faced each other again, he pressed his lips against hers and as much as Blair wanted to push him away, she felt herself following his lead.

"Blair," The door opened and the couple quickly jumped apart as they saw Serena standing in the doorway, "whoa…" Chuck wiped away the pink gloss from his face and Blair busied herself with fixing her appearance. "Did I interrupt something?"

"No." Their answers were simultaneous, which caused even more suspicion.

"Well," Chuck started to leave, "I think it's about time I go give the same speech to Nate." Blair watched him leave from the mirror and a part of her heart sank when she finally saw him disappear.

"So," Serena was curious, Blair could tell, and she walked over behind Blair, "what happened with you two?"

Chuck closed the door behind him, but he didn't go anywhere. He pressed his back against the wooden door and closed his eyes as the passion and emotion started to swell up in his heart.

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

"Hey, man, where have you been?" Nate ran up to Chuck just as he came through the door. Chuck tried his best to shake his 'conversation' with Blair from his thoughts and even more importantly, he tried to hide his breaking heart from Nate's detection. "I've been freaking out here…"

Chuck looked surprisingly at his best friend, "When I left you were fine…"

"Yea," Nate nodded and sat down on the little coach in the sitting area that was placed off to the side of the dressing room, "and then when the door shut, I started freaking out."

"But-"

"I know, it doesn't make any sense…" Nate sighed and held his head in his hands. "I don't know what it is."

Chuck sat next to Nate and searched for something to say, "You know what, you don't need to be nervous. I mean, I would understand if there was something, or someone, that was competing for Blair's love or if something was going to destroy you guys, but as far as I know…that's not going to happen." Nate nodded. "You guys are happy together, everyone can tell. All you need to remember is that Blair loves you, she picked you to spend the rest of her life with…" Chuck faded out and saw Nate smile at his words, "there's no one else out there for her."

Nate clapped his hands together loudly and slapped Chuck friendly on the back, "You're totally right man."

Chuck smiled weakly. He had just told his friend a bunch of bullshit about there being no one else, when he was the one competing for Blair's love. He had always been okay with lying, but this time it was too painful to hide. He hung his head, covering it with his hands.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yea, just have a bad headache…that's all." he answered, not revealing his face.

"Well, don't give up on me." Chuck nodded in his hands, "I need you man, I think I would die if you weren't by my side talking me through everything."

"Hey guys," Dan's head popped out from behind the wooden door, "its show time." Nate and Chuck both nodded and as they headed out the door, both of their hearts were pounding out of their chests with fear and nerves all boiling up inside.

All they knew for certain was that it was going to be an interesting day.

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

(11:15 AM):

"Hey!" Serena ran into Dan's welcoming arms, the couple tightly hugging each other just before the ceremony started. "Oh my goodness, look at you!"

Dan seemed to be blushing at his girlfriends comment, but quickly turned the subject on her appearance, "Me? Look at you." Serena twirled happy to show herself off, "You look…absolutely stunning." Serena's eyes softened as they fell into his gaze, quickly pulling him into a soft kiss.

"Thank you." She whispered as they started pulling away. Still in each other's arms, they gently touched their foreheads together, gazing deeply into each other's eyes.

"Serena," And then Chuck pulled her away, "we're lining up." But she managed to escape his grasp to say goodbye to Dan, which also meant another quick kiss before finding her place right next to Chuck in line.

"What is your problem? You had no right to pull me away from my boyfriend like that." Chuck shrugged his actions off and stayed quiet as the music started to play from behind the big doors leading into the chapel area. "Okay, don't answer me."

"I won't." Although his mood had changed drastically from a couple of minuets ago, his mind still focused on his failure to keep, or even get, Blair. He just wanted to get the whole thing over with and then everything would settle into its place, including his role in the new couple's life.

Nate's parents were the first couple to go down the burgundy colored couple, followed closely by Blair's mother, who was accompanied by Blair's father's boyfriend. The music was soft and as the first bridesmaid and groomsmen couple descended down the aisle, Serena leaned over to Chuck, "Look, I don't know why you're so moody today, but I just want you to know that I'm here if you need to talk."

Chuck's eyes glanced hastily over to his side at his sister, "Well that's awfully nice of you, isn't it?" He raised his fingers to his temples to relieve the pounding headache, which also matched his pounding heart, which was starting to take over his head.

"I know that you're not exactly alright with the whole Blair and Nate situation," Three more couple had gone, each following the exact step pattern that Blair's mother had inscribed in their heads the day before, "it's not that hard to notice. You keep watching them like their your science experiment or something." Two more couples and that meant two more couple until they were finally the ones that were to go towards the altar.

"Serena," his tone was hushed now as they neared the entrance doors, "I know you're just curious, not that you actually care about me and my feelings, but I don't think this is the place or time to discuss that situation." As he finished, he heard clacks of shoes and ruffles off fabric scratching along the floor. He knew Blair was behind him now, and as he glanced over his shoulder, her caught her eyes and smiled to her, reminding himself of the conversation that they had had about thirty minutes before.

"You ready, B?" Serena broke Chuck's hold and turned to face her friend, watching her nod happily in response. Serena winked at her, "Good luck. I love you."

And then it was Chuck and Serena's turn.

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

(11:33 AM):

Chuck watched the woman he hardly recognized walk down the aisle as he stood next to Nate, her arm linked in with her fathers as she was careful of not tripping over her long, beautiful white gown. He could see her eyes filling up with tears as she concentrated on Nate standing at the altar before her, but he knew she wouldn't let one fall because it would ruin her makeup. She looked flawless.

Nate descended down the altar and stood right in front of Blair and her father. She gave a kiss to her dad on the cheek just before he handed her away to the young boy. Nate and Blair smiled at one another, Chuck thought that they were going to explode with happiness, and they walked up towards the priest.

Chuck couldn't help but watch Blair's every move; he was captivated by her, especially in that dress. She turned to give Serena her bouquet and then when she faced Nate again, he lifted her hand, kissing it gently.

"We are all gathered here today to join these two in holy matrimony." The priest addressed the guests loudly, almost shouting in the ears of the young couple as they faced each other, their hands interlocked in one another's tightly. "If anyone feels as though these two should not marry, speak _now_ or forever hold your peace."

Blair and Serena's eyes fell on Chuck standing behind Nate, even Nate glanced quickly over his shoulder, but he just gave them a small shrug. But he knew that it was his time to finish what he had been trying to say to Blair for a couple weeks now, it was _his_ time, Blair was meant for him.

But he stayed still and quiet.

The very uncomfortable silence didn't last very long, "Very good. Now-"

Chuck shook his head, "I'm sorry." Coming from behind Nate, he locked eyes with Blair once again and saw her eyes fill with rage to replace the joyous tears from a minute ago. Serena, Eric, Bart, and Lily all dropped their heads in embarrassment while Nate was just confused.

"Blair," He took a couple of steps forward, he wanted to be closer to her, "you can't do this." His hand wanted to reach for hers and just bring her into his arms, but he resisted the urge and settled for looking deeply into her eyes. "I can't let you do this."

As much as he wanted to say those things and interrupt the ceremony, as much as he wanted that fantasy/daydream to be his reality, Chuck resisted the temptation and snapped back into reality just as Nate and Blair finished saying their vows. Since they decided to stick with the traditional vows, it was shorter. They all knew that if Blair was allowed to write her own vows, the ceremony would last about three hours, two of which would be Blair's vows.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife." Chuck watched Blair's face glow with sheer joy. "You may now," The priest prolonged the kiss for as long as he could, the congregation laughing in the process, "kiss the bride." Cheers and soft whistles rang throughout the church as the newlywed couple embraced each other and kissed.

And all Chuck could do was watch. It was all over now, there as no chance for him to get his love back.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," the priest readdressed the guests once Blair and Nate were through with their first kiss, "I introduce to you Mr. and Mrs. Nathaniel Archibald."


	11. I Knew I Loved You

Chapter 11 - I Knew I Loved You

_Maybe its intuition_

_But some things you just don't question_

_Like in your eyes, I see my future in an instant_

_There it goes, I think I found my best friend_

February 14, 2008:

Valentines Day…you either hated it or loved it. If a girl had a boyfriend, then she couldn't wait until 8:00 PM. But if you were the boyfriend…your day started way, way earlier than 8:00 PM. And if you didn't have a girlfriend/boyfriend…then Valentines Day sucked ass.

For the boyfriend, it was a day to shower your girlfriend with flowers and candy and take her out to a fancy, expensive restaurant where you would let her order the most expensive entrée on the menu and then give her a piece of diamond jewelry. Then she would shower you with kisses of gratitude and affection and you would be thinking about what she had in mind when you returned her to her house, maybe you would leave in the morning…

Or, maybe you would take the more creative, romantic approach. You would run around the entire city, looking for a million candles to line the hotel room that you got, and then throw rose petals around the entire room. The radio would be playing seductive instrumental music and the lights would be dim. It would be a total surprise to her and you would cover her eyes until you closed the door behind her. You would touch her ear with your lips as you softly counted "1...2...3". You would drop your hand and reveal your surprise. She would gasp and be completely speechless and then you would almost fall on the ground as she jumped into your arms, ecstatically pleased. You would ask her to dance on the moonlit balcony and then you would pour champagne in the crystal glasses that were in the room. Finally, you would give her a diamond necklace set, complete with a bracelet and earrings just as the night came to an end. She would shower you with kisses and maybe even a little more…

For the girlfriend, it was a day that you would always remember, especially if your boyfriend made the night perfect. You would go to the salon and get your hair and nails done in the mid-afternoon. Then you would go back to your house and get all dolled up in the finest dress…you would look absolutely flawless. Then you would wait; you would be ready early because you are too excited to not be on time. He would pick you up in the nicest car, or even limo, at the exact minute he said he would pick you up. He would be dressed flawlessly, most of the time in slacks, a shirt, and a tie…maybe you would get lucky and find him in a suit. Then he would whisk you away…

For the people who were single, Valentines Day was a day that you could care less about. Couples rubbed it in your face that you didn't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend to go out with. You would spend the night at your house, most likely with some sort of consolation (like a tub of ice cream) and watch sappy love stories on TV marathons. Then you would go to bed around 8:00 because you couldn't stand the lovey-dovey movies anymore…

But for Blair, Serena, Chuck, Nate, and Dan…Valentines Day was not anything like that. It usually didn't turn out like they had intentionally planned.

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Chuck stared at the boring ceiling as he lay in his bed, waiting for the morning sun to finally rise. He was wide awake and it was only 5:00 in the morning…that had to mean one of two things; (1) Blair was on his mind, or (2) it was Valentines Day. And in this case, it was both.

He couldn't get the picture of Blair in her wedding dress out of his mind. She had captivated him many times, but the day of her wedding absolutely took his breath away. And he hadn't seemed to get all of it back yet. But he had been stupid and he didn't speak up. And now she was forever Nathaniel's, and she seemed happy with him. If Chuck couldn't provide her with happiness, then all he wanted for her was for her to be happy. And she was.

His mind switched to Valentines Day. He was single and he really didn't feel like a party, so what was he supposed to do? What if Nate asked him to help with his date with Blair? Would he be able to help when he felt so passionately in love with Blair?

He twisted to his side and pulled the covers up to his ears. He tried to close his eyes, but he knew he was forcing himself to go to sleep, and in return his eyes hurt and he seemed to get a tiny headache. He reopened his eyes and saw his reflection in his mirror.

"You are Chuck Bass." he told himself. "You should not be sulking over one girl, especially when she doesn't love you back." He sat up tall and pointed to himself. "_You _are Chuck Bass…go find another damn girl." His smile broke out on his face and then he was content with himself. He glanced back at the clock and figured he could get in about an hour and a half of sleep…

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Dan was out of bed at about 7:00 in the morning and since there was no school that day due to some Teacher In-service thing, he had all day to plan for his night with Serena. He figured he would go with the more traditional romantic gesture of the restaurant and jewelry.

"Hey Dan." Jenny snuck up on him while he was deep in thought as she rounded the counter to get to the refrigerator. He jumped subtly, but Jenny saw it and laughed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He shook his head. "So what are you planning to do with Serena tonight? It is Valentines Day today."

"Yes Jenny, I am fully aware of that…thanks."

She laughed yet again, "No pressure." And then she disappeared back into her room, coffee mug in hand. Dan was left alone again and he returned to a mental 'To-Do' list.

(1) Make reservations at the fanciest restaurant

(2) Get a gift…_yea, that might help_, he thought.

(3) Car? Or Limo?

(4) Outfit: suit or just slacks, a shirt, and a tie???

Dan concluded that there were way too many decisions to make just for a span of about a couple of hours, that was unless Serena planned on having him spend the night. He definitely wouldn't mind that.

"Okay," he muttered to himself, "first stop: jewelry store…"

"Hmm, jewelry store?" Rufus appeared out of nowhere, which was becoming suspiciously usual for him now. "Must be Valentines Day." He smiled and set his guitar down on the chair.

"Yep."

"Well, what are you planning on getting Serena?"

Dan got a puzzled look, "I don't know yet. I don't have the money to get her anything really expensive like every other boyfriend does, and that shows my lack of class, but I want it to mean something, like maybe connect it to something we've been through together, something that only she would understand. But I can't buy something like that, so I'm kind of screwed."

Rufus ruffled his eyebrows, "You could write her a song. I'll even help you."

Dan looked behind him at the guitar lying on the furniture and then back to his father, "I don't think so. I didn't exactly inherit the Humphrey talent for music." Rufus shrugged his shoulders and watched Dan rise from the bar stool. "But thanks anyways. Now, I have to go find something for Serena."

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Blair rolled over to her left side and reached out beside her, hoping to encounter Nate's chest, but all she felt were tangled sheets. Her eyes instantly flew open and she looked at the empty spot. She looked around the room as well, but she still found nothing, there wasn't even a sound of any kind of movement.

She ran her fingers through her hair and then flopped back down onto her pillow as her hand hit Nate's pillow, making a crinkling sound. She looked at his pillow and saw a piece of paper with writing on it.

_ My adorable wife,_

_ Sorry if I woke you up by not being beside you. I didn't want to disrupt you, you looked so beautiful and peaceful. Don't panic, I am alright. And no, I haven't been kidnapped by aliens, if you were wondering. I just went out to get some stuff, I should be home shortly. Go back to sleep and I'll be there when you wake up._

_ I Love You Baby,_

_ Your Husband _

_ P.S - Happy Valentines Day!!!_

Blair smiled as her mind swirled with thoughts of Nate; his smile, his body, his charm, and his heart. He was her husband; the thought hadn't really begun to sink in and it had already been a little bit short of a month since they were married. She glanced down at her finger and saw the two diamond rings sparkle in the sun, creating designs on the ceiling which amused Blair for a short time.

But only for a short time. Her eyes began to roll back in her head as her eyelids started to fall heavily. Blair fell right back to sleep…

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Nate was careful when he slowly pushed open his bedroom door. He fit through the small hole he had left for himself and his eyes instantly fell on his wife fast asleep in bed. He quietly shut the door behind him, but then leaned up against it, watching Blair.

She loved to sleep on her stomach, but now she couldn't so she usually slept on her back, occasionally rolling over to her sides. He felt so bad for her; it was hard for her to get comfortable. He could see the outline of her small bump and he smiled. That was their baby…it was all too real for him to believe.

Blair was becoming like every pregnant woman; she constantly had really weird craving, such as peanut butter and hot sauce hamburgers and pickles with her ice cream, she was becoming bigger and bigger, and she was moody than ever. IT all just baffled Nate.

Blair started to toss and Nate was quickly sitting by her side cause he knew that she was going to wake up any second. He promised her that he would be there when she woke up.

Her eyes fluttered open and she caught a blurry glimpse of Nate's smile.

"Hey, sleepyhead." Nate gently placed his hand underneath her chin and his thumb softly started to rub against her cheek. "Time to get up."

"Mmm," she moaned, stretching her arms above her head, "no."

Nate chuckled, "Yes. I'm sure you're hungry and I don't think our baby would appreciate it if you starved it." He then removed his hand from her face and placed it gently on her stomach, softly beginning to rub it.

Blair fully opened her eyes now and looked into Nate's glistening eyes. She could see the happiness radiating from his face as he thought of their baby. He tore his head away from her abdomen and looked into her chocolate brown eyes while she still looked into his deep blue eyes. Her hand naturally fell on top of his on her stomach…it was a Kodak moment.

"C'mon, baby. It's Valentines Day, I know you have some appointment with the salon or something."

Blair smiled and nodded satisfactorily, "Yes I do. At like 4 or something. What time is it?"

Nate looked at the clock on his bedside table, "It's almost 12:30."

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

"So, do you have any idea what Dan's planning for you?" Blair sat in a leather chair at the nail salon, chills crawling up her spine as the bottom of her feet were scrubbed with, what felt like, sand paper. Serena sat next to her.

"I have no idea, but I like it that way. I like surprises." She smiled, glancing over at her best friend. "How about you? What do you think Nate's planning?"

Blair shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know, but I have a feeling it's something really romantic." Serena nodded. "After all, it's our first Valentines Day as a married couple." The lady who was painting her toenails tapped her knee, motioning down towards her toes, Blair nodded. She admired the red paint. Blair decided to be conservative this year and stick with the colors associated with Valentines Day: red and pink. The floral design that the lady was now putting on her big toe was in a bright, yet subtle, pink.

"Do you think Dan will go more traditional this year? Or will he be creative?"

Serena pondered for a moment and then shook her head, "I'm thinking creative. He does seem to have knack for making things up." The girls laughed just as their toenails were done and then they were transferred to side-by-side chairs so that they could have their nails done.

"So," Serena started a new discussion, "how's my little niece or nephew?"

Blair looked down at her stomach and smiled, "It's fine."

"I heard you have some disgusting cravings." Serena chuckled.

Blair nodded proudly, "They're not disgusting to me and they're certainly not disgusting to the baby…I take orders from _it_ now." She paused and examined her nails, "But I do have to say that some of them can be very creative."

"Creative? I would hardly call them that."

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

The girls' nails were done within ten minutes and they sat at the drying table for about twenty. Then they were done and by that time, it was nearly 6:30 PM. So much was left to be done; they had to put their outfits on, they had to do their makeup and of course, they had to do their hair. But that was all stuff they could do by themselves.

"Hey, hold on. I have to go pee." Blair informed Serena just before they walked out of the nail salon. "Again, I take orders from the baby." Serena smiled and watched Blair walk towards the back of the salon.

Blair stood at the sink, washing her hands, and then stared deeply into her reflection that only stared back at her. She thought that she saw a little bit of pudge that had been added to her face since she found out she was pregnant, but every time she brought the concept up to Nate or Serena, they both told her she was going crazy.

She suddenly felt a sharp pain striking her side, almost near her hip. She immediately placed her hand over top of it and pulled at her skin, trying to relieve it, but it didn't help. She couldn't help but bend over and then she fell to the ground. Tears started streaming down her face and as much as she wanted to scream for help, it took too much strength to do so. It seemed like all of her strength had just suddenly escaped. She was helpless.

Serena waited impatiently from the front of the salon and she kept looking at the time on her cell phone. It kept creeping closer and closer to eight o'clock. She couldn't stand being late, especially on Valentines Day…of all days for Blair to take a long time in the bathroom.

"Blair," She finally started walking towards the bathrooms, "Blair." She knocked on the door, but there was no response. She knocked again, and there was still no response from her friend. They needed to leave or they were going to be late for their dates.

"Blair." Serena pushed the door open, surprisingly it wasn't locked. It was then that she found her pregnant best friend on the floor, holding her side, and crying. "Oh my g-d." Serena rushed into the bathroom and instantly pulled Blair over to her.

"I don't know what's happening." Blair took the question out of Serena's eyes.

"Is it the baby?" Serena asked, but Blair only shrugged. "Okay, okay." She instantly took out her cell phone and called 911, explaining the situation. "Okay, Blair, the ambulance is on their way…they should be here soon." Serena was freaking out on the inside and she didn't know what else she could do to make Blair feel better. She felt so useless.

Blair only knew how to nod when she was with Serena. This was not the way she had imagined her first Valentines Day as a wife.

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Nate knocked on Chuck's door.

"Go away!" Chuck retaliated, but it was already too late. Nate had already invited himself inside. He perked his head up and then immediately covered it with his other pillow, rolling his eyes.

"Well hello to you too." Nate answered. He pulled the covers off of Chuck and shook his head when Chuck wouldn't acknowledge that anything had happened. "Chuck." Nate shook Chuck's body, but he wouldn't budge. "Chuck, c'mon." He fiercely tried to remove the pillow from his best friends face, and after a short version of tug-of-war, he finally could see Chuck's annoyed expression.

"What do you want, Nathaniel?"

"I need your help."

Chuck shook his head, "If it has anything to do with your Valentines Day plans for Blair, count me out."

Nate gasped, "Why?"

"Cause."

"Why?"

"Cause."

"Why?"

"Cause."

"Why?"

Chuck couldn't take it anymore, "Just cause!!!" He threw his free pillow at Nate and then tried to motion for him to leave, but Nate wouldn't move. "Fine, I have plans, okay. I'm going out with someone and I don't have time to help you with your wife."

Nate sighed as he sat down at the end of Chuck's bed. "C'mon man, it's nothing big. I just need you to light a few candles for me…" Chuck looked at him with confusion. "That's it."

He closed his eyes in defeat and then nodded, "Okay. But that better be it."

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Chaos. That's all that was surrounding Blair at the moment. She was rolled into the emergency room on a stretcher, so the only things she could see were the ceiling and the people's faces that were crowded around her. Serena was one of them. She could tell by her friend's face that everything was not going to be okay, even though everyone was telling her otherwise.

"Blair, do you want me to call Nate for you?" Blair shook her head. "Why not, B? Nate needs to know."

"No, Serena." Blair said softly. "I don't want him to worry. He's been planning something all day, I don't want it to be ruined."

"But, B-"

"Serena, please." Serena was quiet, "Don't call him." Serena nodded unwillingly.

She felt the stretched take a sharp turn and then she felt herself being transferred onto a regular bed, one where she could sit up and face everyone. Doctors crowded around her bed, poking and prodding her with multiple instruments, including needles. She hated needles. Then the questions started bombarding her ears.

"Blair, do you know where you are?"

She nodded, "I'm in the hospital."

"Good. Do you know you're name?"

She nodded again, "Blair Archibald."

"Great. Do you know who this is?" The doctor pulled Serena into Blair's view again.

She nodded for a third time, "That's my best friend, Serena."

"Good. Now, can you tell me how far along you are in your pregnancy?"

"Um, about three months." The doctor nodded and then the poking and prodding started again. A sonogram machine was pulled out of the closet that just happened to be in her room and the head doctor started plugging all the cords into the wall.

"Okay, Blair, can you pull your shirt up please?" Blair did as she was ordered to and she saw the little bump that was possibly causing her more pain than she had ever experienced. Serena was at her side now and the girls locked hands…they were both scared out of their minds.

The gel was freezing cold against Blair's bare skin. She shivered as the doctor smiled, apologizing. The doctor held a small instrument in her hand, it almost looked like a microphone, and then pressed it to Blair's abdomen. Pictures came up on the monitor and Blair could only see black and white blurs, but she knew that somewhere inside of that, her baby was there.

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

It was finally eight o'clock and Dan was about ready to go into the limo when he felt his cell phone ring in his hand. He smiled when he saw the name of his girlfriend appear on his caller ID.

"Hey."

"Hey, Dan. I'm so sorry, but could you pick me up in a half an hour? Something happened with Blair and we're just now getting home. I'm so sorry."

Dan rolled his eyes at Blair's name, "Yea, of course. Is everything alright?"

"Blair got rushed to the hospital after we got our nails done and she just got released. I'm so sorry, I would've called, but she didn't want anyone to know."

"Wow." That's all he could muster out.

"Yea, I know."

"Okay. I'll see in about thirty minutes." He could hear her smiling on the other end. "But, I'm not taking anymore excuses.

She chuckled, "Okay. There will be no more excuses, I promise." There was about a second of silence, "I love you."

"I love you too, Serena." Then the conversation was over. But that was not the last one he would have over the phone in the next thirty seconds. Now, he had to call the restaurant and push back his reservation. And now it was a reservation for 2, under Dan Humphrey, for 9:00 PM.

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Chuck was alone yet again. He had finally finished helping Nate, and when Nate had said a few candles, he had lied. It turned out to be like a million, all were around the perimeter of the hotel suite that Nate had reserved. And while he was lighting the candles, Nate had been spreading out rose petals all over the floor and couches, not to mention the bed. He actually thought it was quite romantic.

He caught a quick glimpse of his sister sprinting by his room into hers. She should've been gone by now…after all it was past eight o'clock.

"Aren't you supposed to be gone? Don't you have a date with your beloved Daniel?" He was actually out of his room for like the first time that day and he stood against her doorframe.

"Yes, Chuck. I have a date and I'm actually going in like a couple of minutes. So if you wouldn't mind, I would like to get ready in peace."

Chuck was puzzled, "What kept you from being on time?"

"What makes you think that something kept me from being on time?"

"Because you would never be late for a date with Dan, especially a date with him on Valentines Day." Serena sighed and rolled her eyes, but she wouldn't say anything. Though, deep in her mind, she knew that Chuck wouldn't say anything about Blair. She knew he would want to know, he would want to make sure that she was okay.

"Serena, what's going on? What happened?" He was now fully inside her room and he quickly shut the door behind him. "I know something's going on, you have that look on your face."

She whipped around to face him, "I do not have a look!"

He nodded, "Yes you do. Sorry to break it to you."

Serena was about to tell, but Dan had arrived. The doorbell rang and she sprinted out…

"Saved by the bell." Chuck muttered to himself.

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Blair got all dressed up, Nate wasn't picking her up until nine anyways, so unlike Serena, she didn't have rush. She sat in front of her vanity, but she didn't put any makeup on. She only stared into the glass, almost as if in a trance. She was trying to recover quickly from her 'accident' so that Nate's night wouldn't go to waste, but it was harder then she thought.

"Why?" She looked down at her body, "why did something have to happen today? Of all days!!"

She shook her head. The doctor hadn't really told her anything conclusive, but she did know that she needed to take it easy and get as much rest as possible. But there was so much going on, Blair didn't know if she could slow down. Was it possible?

By the time she realized that time had passed, it was already 8:50 PM. All she needed to do was finish her makeup and then, by that time, Nate would be here. Hopefully nothing else would get ruined.

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Nate knocked on the bedroom door again and found Blair standing in the middle of the room, waiting for him. She was dressed in a red halter dress that form fitted her body perfectly. Her brown hair fell naturally curled past her shoulders and her eyes shined in the dim lights.

"Hi." He smiled.

She smiled back at him, "Hi." They walked towards each other, Nate pulled her body closer to him. Her baby bump kept them from being as close as he wanted, but anything would do. He gazed deeply into her eyes and noticed that her eyes were pained with sorrow.

"Baby, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

Blair nodded, "Yea, I'm perfect. I'm just overwhelmed, that's all." Nate took his hand and pulled her chin up so that their lips met and he kissed her softly.

"C'mon."

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Nate blindfolded Blair once the limo ride ended and until they were in the room. She felt every single movement; there were stairs, there were elevators, there were more stairs, and there were left and rights all over the place. They were finally in a room; she could sense that much. It smelled good too. She could hear music playing, but she couldn't recognize it.

"Okay." Nate finally let his hand down from her eyes; she saw the candles flickering all along the perimeter of the room and there were rose petals everywhere. There were even like five bouquets of roses spread throughout the room. All she could do was gasp.

"Oh my g-d. What-" She turned to face her husband. He was smiling and she almost toppled him to the ground when she jumped into his arms. Her legs wrapped around Nate's waist as he held her.

"Do you like it?"

Blair flew her hair out of her eyes and gazed down into her husbands eyes, "Are you kidding? I love it, babe! It's amazing!" She kissed him, her fingers fidgeting with his hair on the back of his head as Nate reached up to meet her lips.

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Dan and Serena sat in a back room at a French restaurant that was dimly lit by candles. Champagne was offered, and they both took it graciously. The dinner had been awkwardly quiet and they were nearing dessert, they weren't full enough yet, not even with the four course meals that they had. Granted, they shared half of it, but still.

"Dan," Serena took Dan's hand in with her own, "I'm sorry if this hasn't been exactly like you planned."

Dan ruffled his eyebrows in confusion, "Are you kidding?"

"Well, you've been so quiet tonight. I thought that the whole situation with Blair-". Dan stopped her and held her hands tightly.

"Serena, I'm not going to hold the whole Blair situation against you. You're an amazing, wonderful, kind human being…which is why I can't fathom the fact that you and I are together. I'm not exactly the person you should be with, I mean you deserve way much better-"

"Dan…"

Dan pulled on Serena's hand and she got out of her seat and sat on Dan's lap. He wrapped his arms around her waist as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Dan gazed up at her, "And if that means that you are the best friend of Blair Waldorf-Archibald, whatever she's called, then I have to accept that. You are an amazing friend. That's just who you are…and I wouldn't change anything about you." Serena couldn't help but smile at her boyfriend, she even teared up. "You're absolutely perfect."

"Thanks." She mouthed as she lowered her head down to kiss him sweetly.

When they pulled apart, Dan winked, "Anytime."

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Nate and Blair were out on the balcony, dancing to soft music, it was almost as if there was no music. Blair's head laid gently underneath Nate's chin where she felt the most safe, while Nate tightly held her close to him. It was all surreal to Blair; the hotel suite that was showered with rose petals all for her, the dancing that was lit only by the moon, and the great amazing husband she had.

Which was why she knew she needed to tell him about earlier. She lifted her head and immediately Nate was staring at her. "I need to tell you something." He nodded. "I kind of, maybe, possibly, had a little incident today."

Nate was confused, "What do you mean by 'incident'?"

"Like the type of incident where I ended up in the hospital…" Nate stopped swinging side to side and stood still, still gazing down into his wife's eyes. But his gaze was fierce one now, Blair could tell that he was getting angry.

"The hospital? What the hell?" He pushed Blair away and stomped back inside the suite. "You were in the hospital and you didn't tell me? What happened?"

"Nate, it's nothing. Okay, I'm fine."

"No, you can't just tell me that you were in the hospital and then say that it was nothing!" He yelled, "Obviously you _weren't_ fine."

"I went to the bathroom before Serena and I left the nail place and I just kind of collapsed on the floor and I felt this sharp pain in my side." Blair took small steps towards Nate, but he kept backing away from him. "Serena found me and she called 911 and I went to the hospital. Nate, they didn't really find anything wrong, they just said that I need to take it easy and get a lot of rest."

"And the baby?"

Blair pursed her lips together, "Nate, I'm sorry…I really am-"

"And the baby?!" He was agitated and Blair grew scared of what he was potentially able to do to her.

"It's fine." Nate hung his head in relief. "But, I'm sorry. I didn't call you because I knew you had been planning this extravagant night all day and I didn't want to ruin it."

His face softened up and he took steps towards Blair, "Blair, it would've been ruined if something _was_ wrong and you didn't tell me. I would've been wondering where you were and I wouldn't know that you were _not _okay." He finally reached her and he stroked her arms softly. "I'm not mad, baby. I'm just…I'm just glad you're okay." Blair nodded as he pulled her into his chest. "And next time something happens, please, please call me. I don't care if I've been something for a year…I'd much rather know if you're okay or not." Blair nodded into his chest, small tears of relief were starting to blur her vision.

But everything was okay…and that's all that mattered.

"I love you, Nate."

"I love you too, baby."


	12. Whatever It Is

Chapter 12 - Whatever It Is

_She got eyes that cut you like a knife_

_And the lips that taste like sweet red wine…_

_She got a gentle way that puts me at ease_

_When she walks in the room I can hardly breathe…_

_She got whatever it is_

April 19, 2008:

The doctor's office intimidated Blair as she nervously waited for the nurse to call out her name. Today was yet another prenatal check-up, and though she knew that she needed to go see the doctor, she always hated it due to the fact that she always seemed to be the youngest girl in the office.

Her leg shook fiercely and her eyes couldn't help but wander around the room at the other expectant mothers. Her arms were folded on top of her rounded stomach…she was now five months pregnant and her feet were already starting to disappear from underneath her.

"Blair," Nate's placed his cold hand on top of her shaking knee, stopping it for the moment, "calm down." She looked into his eyes and smiled weakly. "It's going to be okay…I'm right here." She nodded. This was the first appointment that Nate had been to, Serena had accompanied her for the other ones.

Her eyes stayed locked on her young husband. Why wasn't he nervous? He looked so peaceful and calm…she wondered if he was just trying to be calm for her. And if he was, she was soooo grateful to him. Blair uncrossed her arms and let one hand drop down on top of Nate's that still rested on her knee. His hand gently accepted hers and they interweaved their fingers. The other hand swiftly swirled around her stomach.

"Blair Archibald?" A dark haired nurse, dressed in Care Bear scrubs, emerged from a small hallway, holding an overstuffed folder. Nate squeezed Blair's knee as he started to rise and he held his hand out for her to take. She slowly got up and then headed towards the nurse, hand in hand with Nate.

The nurse politely smiled, "Hi."

"Hi."

"How are you feeling?" Blair and Nate followed the nurse down a bright green corridor and about halfway, light paneled doors started to appear on the walls. The nurse took a sharp right and then another sharp right, placing Blair and Nate in a room covered with different posters about pregnancy and baby stuff.

Now Nate was terrified, but he denied it every time the nurse looked at him questioningly.

"I guess I'm okay. Nothing has gone wrong." Blair answered after the nurse shut the door.

She nodded, "Good." While the nurse turned to fill out some paper work, Blair couldn't help but stare at the poster of development stages. Five months, five months, five months. Her eyes scanned the poster for the five month stage multiple times.

"Our baby's limbs are nearly done growing." Blair whispered to Nate, who just looked at her confused. The nurse laughed. "It says so on the poster: "limbs reach near-final proportions." Nate nodded. "And it's supposed to start kicking."

"Really?"

The nurse came over to Blair's right side and nodded, looking at Nate with a big grin, "Yep. You should experience some kicking in the next couple of days." Nate and Blair immediately looked at each other and smiled widely. "Okay, Blair. Have you been taking your vitamins?"

"Yes." Blair pushed her way onto the table that sat near the far side wall of the room while Nate finally took a seat by Blair's feet.

"Good. Now, how about any sharp pains?"

Blair felt Nate's eyes piercing into her skin, but she didn't look at him. "Nope. Not as of late."

"Good." The nurse jotted down more notes. "Have you been resting?"

"Yes, she has." Nate now spoke up, with much enthusiasm, as he sat tall with pride when the nurse faced him, smiling again.

"Good." The nurse wrote one final note and then turned to Blair with the blood pressure machine. Blair found this part of the checkup rather amusing…she loved seeing how far her arm could go without exploding. Then the nurse took her temperature.

"Okay, Blair." She pushed Blair down so that she was lying flat on the table. "Lets take a look at your baby." Blair smiled. Nate stood in between the wall and the table as he stood beside her, immediately grabbing his wife's soft hand. The nurse pulled Blair's up just until Blair's stomach was fully exposed.

The sonogram gel was freezing against her bare skin. She shivered, "Is it ever warm?"

The nurse chuckled, "No, not really." She placed the tiny instrument on top of Blair's stomach and a small heartbeat immediately filled the room. Nate squeezed Blair's hand tightly. She looked up at him and saw his eyes glued to the little monitor on the other side of her. She could see small tears forming and sitting quietly on his eyelashes…he was so happy. Though Blair had heard the heartbeat before in other appointments, she couldn't help but smile and tear up herself. Nate's reaction was priceless.

"That's our baby." He managed to whisper as he stood there in pure amazement. "That's our baby."

"Yes." Blair watched his unwavering eyes stay focused on the monitor.

"There it is." The nurse, who had stayed fairly quiet, pointed to the screen and the couples eyes widened in shock.

"Wow." Nate's amazement continued when he saw a white peanut shaped figure appear on the screen. Silence filled the room as the couple's eyes widened with adoration. Blair felt Nate's soft lips touch her forehead with a sweet kiss before he returned to staring at his unborn child on the monitor.

"It's only that big?" Blair asked.

The nurse grinned, "Yep."

"Then why am _I_ so big?"

Nate laughed, "Blair, you're not big. You're beautiful."

Blair narrowed her eyes at him, "You have to say that…you're my husband." Nate was about to interrupt, but Blair stopped him. "I want to hear it from a professional unbiased person."

"Blair, you may think you're big, but you're actually right where you need to be. It may seem bigger to you because you're small in stature." The nurse moved the instrument down lower on Blair's stomach. "You're a tiny girl. Plus, you're young. Maybe you haven't had your growth spurt yet."

Blair nodded, "Okay."

"Would you like a picture of your baby?"

"Yes!" Nate jumped immediately. Blair knew he was going to be a perfect father…she didn't think that it was possible for her to fall even more in love with him, but after the appointment, she knew that it was.

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

"Hey!" Serena was anxiously waiting for Dan at the elevator doors in her house and once they opened, she was instantly in his arms, almost sending him to the floor. Dan's face was ambushed by Serena's fruity glossy lips covering his in sweet kisses and then her face buried itself in his shoulder as they exchanged a hug.

Dan was so surprised, he was speechless.

"Speak." Serena laughed as she pulled her boyfriend into the house, leading him over to the sitting area. "You can speak, right?"

Dan shook his head to get him to focus, "Of course." Serena smiled and quickly sat down on the couch, pulling Dan down with her just so that she could place her legs across his lap. But Dan didn't mind. "I'm just shocked, that's all."

Serena leaned her head against the palm of her hand that rested on the back of the couch and looked into Dan's soft eyes, "I'm going to take that as a good thing."

Dan nodded, smiling, "Yeah, you should. That was…" He stuttered, "That was quite a good, good surprise."

"Why tha-"

"Serena!!" The couple heard the elevator doors open, echoing a familiar scream into the house. Dan rolled his eyes, sighing and dropped his head to avoid what was about to come through the doors.

"Serena!" Blair and Nate walked hand in hand into house, immediately spotting Dan and Serena together on the couch.

"Hey, Blair." Serena's enthusiasm couldn't have been any more fake. She smiled as she watched her best friend waddle towards her, while Nate separated from her and headed towards Dan's side of the couch. "What's up?"

"Look!" Blair shoved the picture into Serena's hands and watched her friend's smile grow even wider.

"Oh my g-d, B!!!" The two girls squealed in sync with each other and tightly hugged each other as Serena continued to admire the small little picture Blair had given her.

"What's with them?" Dan asked as he stood beside Nate.

"That's the baby sonogram."

Dan's eyes widened, "Wow." Nate nodded. "Hey, Nate, I know I haven't said this yet, so um…congratulations." Nate grinned and pulled Nate into a manly hug.

"B, I can already tell that its going to be the cutest baby ever! Do you see the size of its biceps? Its definitely flexing its muscles." Serena joked as she helped Blair sit down, eventually taking a seat next to her.

"Well then it takes after its daddy." Blair smiled at Nate.

But Nate shook his head in disagreement as he looked at Blair's sparkling eyes, "I do not flex my muscles, baby."

"Did you find out what it's going to be? Like a boy or a girl?" Dan interrupted politely. Serena was surprised when Dan seemed to show interest in Blair's baby. She glanced up at him and smiled. He winked at her.

Nate shook his head, "No. We decided that we want it to be a surprise." Blair nodded in agreement and the young couple caught each other's glances yet again. Serena saw the way they looked at each other and she could only adore their love for each other.

"Blair, you have to let me help you pick out names. It'll be so much fun!"

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Chuck sat quietly at the top of the stairs in the house, intently watching the two couples interact like they had known each other since they were born. He felt left out.

After he surveyed the situation, his eyes locked on Blair. It was true, what everyone said about pregnant women glowing; Blair was radiating with a blinding glow that only seemed to attract Chuck even more. Her laugh sent shock waves through the room and its enticing nature only echoed throughout the somewhat empty halls. But her laugh was contagious and whenever she _did _laughed, he couldn't help but smile. He desperately wanted to go down and join in on the fun, but he had held his distance so well since Nate and Blair had gotten married. He could vaguely remember being around the both of them outside of school. He had only helped Nate with his Valentines Day plan…he hadn't run into Blair since the wedding. Since he had professed his love for her yet again.

He shuffled to make himself more comfortable. It was a quiet shuffle, something that wouldn't have been detected if there was complete silence, but it attracted some attention from the company downstairs. Blair glanced directly backwards, but found nothing. Her eyes didn't stop there though, they continued to wander behind her and they eventually fell on Chuck at the top of the staircase. No one else seemed to notice that she wasn't paying attention or that he was watching them.

Blair's eyes ripped through Chuck's guilty heart. He knew that she probably didn't appreciate his absence from her world. Chuck didn't move, even though his cover was blown, and he continued to stare deeply into her gaze.

She smiled weakly, he saw her hand gently rubbing her pregnant belly, and he knew that she was waiting for some kind of recognition from him. So he smiled. To him it was a painful smile, but to Blair, it was smile of hope. She needed Chuck…she just didn't know how or in what way just yet.

And he needed her. Not in the same way that she needed him, but he would take her in any way. Right now, he would take her as a friend. She provided that comfort that he had always felt around her. And when she wasn't in his life, his world was a complete mess. He was always getting into trouble, drugs became more and more of a problem, and Serena had always found him with three different girls each night.

Blair was his stability. And he was Blair's addiction. She felt an emptiness without him in her life…and it didn't matter what way he was involved.

The fact was: they needed each other. And through that intensely long gaze, they found some of those answers. They found the missing pieces.


	13. You Found Me

Chapter 13 - You Found Me

_In the end, everyone ends up alone_

_Losing her, the only one who's ever known_

_Who I am, who I'm not, who I want to be_

_No way to know how long she will be next to me_

…_You found me_

April 26, 2008:

Blair sat on the couch, slouching in between two cushions so that she was comfortable, but it didn't help. She was fat and because she was petite, she felt even fatter. She felt like she was going to cry. _Damn hormones_, she thought. And there was no one around to reassure her that she was beautiful…Nate and his parents had gone on a college scouting trip and Nate had refused to let Blair come with them. He had taken the doctors orders for rest way too seriously and as a result, she found herself alone at her own house, on a Friday night, sulking while trying to watch Dean and Rory in Gilmore Girls. And as much as Deroda tried to cheer Blair up, she missed Nate way too much.

"Miss Blair," Deroda entered the room carrying a tray of food, "would you like some?" The tray held two quarts of ice cream, one chocolate chip cookie dough and one mint chocolate chip, and a jar of pickles. Blair smiled weakly and grabbed the mint chocolate chip quart while simultaneously grabbing two pickles. "You and your cravings."

Blair glanced over at Deroda, "You should try it. It's quite good."

Deroda shook her head, "I think I'll just stick to normal foods, like ice cream…" She took the other quart and a silver spoon. "Without the pickles."

"Suit yourself." Deroda smiled as Blair's eyes fixated on another one of Dean and Rory's petty arguments about Tristan, while she spooned the ice cream into her mouth like every five seconds. She was eating non-stop and by the time the episode was over, she only had about a quart left of the ice cream left. She looked over at Deroda's quart and saw that she hadn't even eaten half.

"This is _so_ not fair!!" Blair pouted, slamming the ice cream down onto the little tray that Deroda had brought out. She struggled to get up quickly, Deroda had to help her up, which made her feel even worse.

Deroda was confused, "Miss Blair, where are you going?" She watched Blair waddled towards the elevator, grabbing her shoes and coat in the process.

"Out! And don't follow me!"

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Blair watched the elevator doors open slowly, her leg shook with anxiety, before she let herself out and into Serena's house once again.

"Serena?" she called out into the erringly silent air as she made her way towards the staircase. "Serena?" Her voice cracked as tears started to well up in her eyes as the reality of her loneliness seeped deeper into her skin. The silence told her everything she had already known. The brunette hung her head and waddled back towards the elevator, saddened with self pity.

"Blair?" Just as Blair started to push the 'down' button, a deep voice rang throughout the house, originating from the kitchen area. She turned sharply on her heels and saw Chuck appear from behind the small bar.

"Chuck."

"Serena's not home."

Blair nodded. "Yeah, I got that."

Chuck felt embarrassed and could only smile as he inched closer and closer to his pregnant friend, "Right. She's with Daniel."

"Oh okay." There was a painful silence that hung in the air as the two friends gazed at one another, waiting for someone to say the next word or phrase. Chuck could see that Blair had been crying and the vulnerability seemed to radiate from her facial expression. But Blair wouldn't allow him access back into her heart or mind again. She immediately straightened up, smiled widely, and blinked a couple times to regain her composure and dry the tears up. "Can you just tell her that I came by?"

Chuck nodded. "Of course."

"Thanks." She turned on her heels and made her way back towards the elevator, her smile quickly fading away. Her chin started trembling and she could feel her energy dwindling. Her hand started shaking as she reached for the 'down' button for the second time in about five minutes.

"Blair, are you okay?" His tone was one of concern as he watched her nod as tiny sniffles became coherent. "Are you sure?" The brunette nodded again, never looking back at him.

There was the tiny bell sound as the doors slowly opened again. But Blair didn't go in…she stood completely still for a couple of seconds before she rushed into Chuck's arms, sobbing uncontrollably.

"Whoa." Chuck was surprised. Blair was crying like he had never seen before - like there was a river flowing behind her eyes - he could feel his shirt dampen with salty tears. He had to take a step back to gain his balance so that they wouldn't end up on the floor, and his arms remained outstretched to his sides…he had no idea what to do. He could feel Blair's round stomach pressed against his body and every time she took a quick, needed, breath, he could feel her stomach rise and fall.

What was he to do? What did she need to hear? Was he supposed to say anything at all or just let her cry and then talk her head off? Did he really have to hug her back? Chuck was soooo confused.

"Shh." He finally wrapped his arms around her, gently soothing her with soft sweeps of his hand across her back. Blair nestled her head deeper into Chuck's soft sweater as Chuck finally placed his hand on the back of her head, running his fingers through her messy, tousled hair.

He continued to comfort her the best way he knew how as he listened to tiny cries that eventually started to escape from her mouth, "Shh. It's going to be okay." After a couple of minutes, it almost felt natural to Chuck, as if he was meant to hold her like he was in that moment. Granted, he would've liked to circumstances to be in his favor…

Blair pulled away somewhat reluctantly and gazed up into Chuck's soft brown eyes, which were watching her every move intently. She sniffled again and as she went to wipe the tears from her cheek, Chuck's thumbs beat her to it. His thumbs on her face made her heart skip a beat, his hands were so gentle.

"Are you okay?" he asked her.

Blair grinned, "If me crying is okay, then yes…I'm perfectly fine."

"Seriously…"

Blair was hesitant, she felt as though Chuck had no business in her life. He had basically dropped off the face of her earth since she got married. "I'm pregnant and alone. I feel like a big fat whale and no one is around for me to talk to." Chuck continued to listen, "So no, I'm not okay."

Chuck motioned for her to sit down and they both made their way over towards the living room, "Do you need anything? Something to eat or drink?" Blair glanced behind her as Chuck followed her to the couches and shook her head. She was slow in sitting on the couch, her legs slightly trembled. Chuck offered his assistance, but Blair quickly declined.

She let out a soft sigh once she finally sat down and watched Chuck sit on the coffee table in front of her.

"You know, you can talk to me." he offered, she nodded. But instead of taking the invitation, the two friends sat in an uncomfortable silence. The only noises were the horns and sirens in the outside world and a soft murmur from the refrigerator in the nearby kitchen.

Blair ruffled her eyebrows, "Can I?" Chuck titled his head in confusion. "Where have you been? It's like you've fallen off the face of the earth when it comes to me…"

"Blair-"

"I mean, did I do something? Was it something I said?" Chuck lowered his head in defeat, secretly racking his mind on what he was supposed to tell her. He couldn't possibly allow himself to tell her how he really felt, especially since she was soooo…hormonal.

There was more silence, which made Blair frustrated…on top of everything she was already feeling. She was about to burst.

"I needed you, Chuck! And every time I needed you, for whatever reason, you've been too busy or not home or out with girls…" Blair forced Chuck to meet her eyes, placing her thumb under his chin to pull his face up. "It's like you don't want anything to do with me anymore-"

Chuck couldn't stand sitting anymore, so he jumped up. It startled Blair. "You think that I like being away from you? Or feeling like I've been left of the group?" He turned back towards Blair when he heard her snort in disbelief. "Just trust me. This is for the best."

"For who?" Blair shuffled her feet in order to sit on the edge of the sleek couch. "Cause it sure as hell isn't me."

"I don't want to go through this again, Blair-"

"Well then tell me what is going on."

Chuck shook his head. "I can't." He stood still for a moment and, taking a deep breath, he gazed into Blair's pained eyes. He couldn't tell her the truth, he knew that she would've left right away, and as much as he hated arguing with her, he would've liked to spend the time with her. No matter what they were doing. He tore his eyes away from her and shook his head again.

Blair gasped, "Oh my g-d. This has to do with the wedding doesn't it?" Chuck was silent. "Chuck, you can't think that just because I married Nate doesn't mean that I don't want you in my life."

"Blair-"

"No." she refused to be interrupted. "I need you to look at me." But Chuck refused as well, making Blair get up and waddle towards him, forcing him, yet again, to look into her eyes. "You mean so much to me, Chuck. You know things about me that other people don't, even Serena." Chuck looked at the ground, but Blair again forced his eyes to meet hers. "You understand me much better than Nate does because we are almost the same person…you're just not a girl." She smiled, but Chuck wouldn't crack even a grin. "You have to believe me when I say that I need you."

Chuck pulled his face away from Blair's tight grasp. "I believe you."

"Good."

"But I don't know if I can be there for you, especially with your whole marriage to Nate."

"Well, can you please try to find a way?" Chuck looked at her soft face and he couldn't help but feel the butterflies growing inside of his stomach. How could he resist? He nodded. "Good, now-" Her hand flew down to her stomach as she slowly bent over in what Chuck thought was pain, "Ow…"

Chuck was quick in pushing her over to the couch, "Sit down, sit down." Blair plopped down on the couch and all she could do was smile. "Are you okay?"

She laughed, "Yeah. Here." She took Chuck's warm hand and placed it over her bulging stomach and watched his face for his reaction.

He jumped, "What was that?"

Her smile grew bigger and bigger, "That was the baby kicking." Chuck's eyes widened in amazement. "That was the baby's first kick."

"Wow." Chuck whispered. Blair's hand covered his as they waited for another kick, both of them smiling…


	14. Real Life Fairytale

AN: Hey guys! I'm so sorry for the lack of updates...there hasn't been much inspiration for me and as my senior year is drawing to a close, it has become really hectic. But, hopefully with exams coming up, I'll have some time to update more often. YAY! So, who else thinks that Nate and Blair have been really cute lately on Gossip Girl?!?! I'm both a Chuck/Blair and Nate/Blair shipper, and since Chuck and Blair aren't together...I don't know, there's just something about Nate and Blair lately. They're so cute!!!

Anyways...there's probably going to be one or two last chapters with Blair pregnant, and then the baby will be born. I'm trying to include an array of events that happen before the baby's born, like baby showers and nursery decorating...I hope it's not getting too boring! Oh, and as always, reviews are _always _appreciated! :) ENJOY!!!

Chapter 14 - Real Life Fairytale

_You are my life, you are my star_

_You are my sunshine in my dark_

_You are the everything I dreamed about_

_You are the guy who stole my heart_

…_A real life fairytale_

June 7, 2008:

It was a beautiful spring Saturday morning. Yes, early June was still considered early spring, even with temperatures in the mid-80's, as was the case in New York City this year. But today settled into the warm high-70's. All the leaves finally shook their snowy appearance in order to turn a dark green, accompanied by the many flowers that had started to bloom. The sun was high in the sky and a cool breeze came through the many open windows in the room.

"Chuck," Nate stood at one end of a long cardboard box, "can you help me?" He watched his brunette friend roll his eyes as he shuffled over to the box, grabbing the other end of it so that they could quietly place it on the floor, careful to not wake up Blair or his parents. It was still quite early in the morning. "Thanks."

Chuck nodded, "Now what?" They both looked at the box, held together with white bands, before they tore the box open only to find multiple pieces of white wood.

"I guess we have to put it together." Nate heard Chuck mutter some sarcastic remark under his breath before he sat down on the ground beside the box, pulling random pieces out and laying them on the floor in some kind of organized pattern. Nate followed his lead.

They scratched their heads when all the pieces were out of the box, wondering what they were supposed to do.

"There's got to be directions here somewhere…" Nate shuffled through the empty box, quickly stumbling on the crinkled booklet of directions. "Here we go." He flipped through it and only found letters and numbers, directions saying that piece so and so was supposed to go with this other piece. He was dumbfounded. He continued to flip through the pages, eventually coming upon the directions in both French and Spanish. That was even more confusing.

"Give me this…" Chuck ripped the booklet out of his friend's hands and looked at it, he was even confused as well, so he threw it over in the corner of the brightly lit room. "Okay, well…maybe we can just wing this. I mean, we both know what a crib looks like."

Nate nodded, "Good point. Photographic memory."

They immediately found the base board of the crib and started from there, fitting random pieces in various spots, until they thought that they had what looked like a crib.

But it was far from it. The only piece that was in the right spot was the base board, but it was almost touching the ground instead of being elevated. It was all wrong. The boys pulled back and stood a few feet away from it, staring at their creation, shaking their heads and smiling.

Chuck chuckled, "I don't think that's right."

Nate agreed, "Yeah, I don't think that would even be safe for the baby to sleep in." He let out a small laugh as he went to the corner of the room where Chuck had thrown the directions, picking up the crumble paper. "Maybe we should at least try to understand this…"

Chuck sighed, taking the paper away from Nate once again, "I guess." He flipped through a couple of pages, "Well do you have a screwdriver and a hammer?"

Nate nodded, "Yeah. I think so. I'll go get them."

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Nate was downstairs in his fathers office, shuffling through his dad's belongingss…there had to be a screwdriver and hammer somewhere around here.

"Ah ha." He pulled a small yellow handled screwdriver out from one of the Captain's desk drawers, followed by a medium sized red handled hammer. He couldn't comprehend why his dad needed tools in his office, but he didn't care at the moment.

"Serena." Nate caught Serena as he walked out of the office, towards his way upstairs. "I'm glad you came."

Serena smiled, "Of course I would. I want to help." She followed him up the stairs, quietly making sure that her heels weren't too noisy. "Besides," she added, "I don't think you or Chuck know anything about decorating a baby's room."

Nate nodded, "You're totally right. We can't even seem to put together a crib." Serena laughed as they made it on the landing of the upstairs hallway, "That's pretty pathetic, don't you think?"

"Kind of."

Nate glanced back at her and smiled again. They passed by different doors; the glass doors of the library, his parents bedroom door, and his own, before they got to the nursery. Walking into the gender friendly light yellow room, they found Chuck still reading the directions and silently talking to himself about, what sounded like, his plans for that night.

"Ah, Serena." Chuck gave Serena one of his smirks as the blonde walked around the empty room, spinning in circles.

"Please tell me you have all the furniture and everything…" She gave Nate a look. He nodded. "Good, where is it?"

"Downstairs." Serena pouted, "Once Chuck and I finish putting together the crib, we're going to get everything else."

Serena was silent for a while, "Well what am I supposed to do?"

"You can help." Chuck quickly threw the idea out there, waiting for Serena's response. He was surprised when she didn't seem to mind and she walked towards the display of wood on the floor. "Maybe you can read the directions to us…"

Serena nodded and seemed please with that idea, "Sure."

About an hour later, the three friends looked pleased as they stared at the finished crib in the middle of the room.

"Now, that looks like a crib." Chuck added in the silence, watching his sister and best friend nod in agreement.

"Time to go get the other stuff." Chuck and Nate groaned in defiance. "Do you want your wife to wake up and ruin the whole surprise?"

Nate rolled his eyes because he knew Serena was right, "No. I guess not." Serena squealed in excitement and pushed the two boys out of the room until they were in the hallway, where they could walk by themselves. Chuck looked at Nate as Nate glanced at him; he knew that he kind of owed Chuck for the rest of his life. First, the whole best man thing…second, the Valentines Day thing…and now, this.

"Hey," Nate halted at his bedroom door, watching Chuck stop a couple of feet in front of him, "Go on ahead. I'll be right there; I just want to check on her."

Chuck nodded and then disappeared.

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

He was quiet when he opened the door, his eyes instantly falling on Blair in their bed. Her face was purely innocent as she slept soundly and he made his way towards her, carefully placing himself on the edge of the bed hoping that she wouldn't wake up at the sudden movement.

He gently placed his hand overtop of her stomach, anxiously waiting for the baby to make some sort of movement to acknowledge his warm touch. He gasped silently when he felt it; this tiny little cricket like movement right under his hand. That was the baby. It almost astounded him as he sat there, feeling more and more tiny little runs across her stomach. How could this be happening?

She stirred in the ruffled sheets, but she didn't wake up. He smiled at the girl beside him. Underneath of the sheets, she was covered in sweatpants and a shirt, plus a sweatshirt…used for her changes in temperatures during the night. She stirred again, tossing and turning before she settled peacefully on her right side, so that she was facing the rays of sunlight that broke into the room.

Her face glistened with small sparkles of beauty and he couldn't help but smile even wider. Her chocolate brown curly locks turned an almost dirty blonde in the golden rays.

"Mmm." She fluttered her eyes open and caught a short glimpse of his illuminated face. She smiled.

"Shh," He moved his hand from her stomach to her cheek, softly rubbing his thumb against her smooth skin, "go back to sleep, sweetheart." He pushed loose strands of her hair behind her ear before placing his lips to the crown of her head, kissing her softly. He got up from the bed and waited until he was certain that she was asleep again before he left the room, hands in his pockets.

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

The afternoon was slowly waning on Blair as she finally opened her eyes from sleeping. Looking at the clock on her bedside table, she sighed as she realized that her day was completely wasted. She was becoming more and more lazy with every day that passed, and the even worse part was that people weren't complaining. And they weren't really surprised that she slept most of the time…she felt kind of left out.

Shrugging her shoulders at her thoughts, she slowly got out of bed, immediately putting on the robe that was within her reach on her way towards the bathroom. Her bare feet hit the cold tiled floor and sent shivers up her spine; she could feel the goose bumps on her arms.

Blair stared into the mirror, rubbing her eyes to officially wake her up, and then started to watch herself hum a melody that was ringing in her head. She continued to hum as she brushed her teeth and while she put her hair up into a messy do.

"Oh my gosh!" She jumped when Nate's hands wrapped around her body. She always tended to sing/hum loudly, so naturally she didn't hear Nate creep up behind her.

"Good morning, Blair." He whispered on her neck, "Or should I say, good evening." She smiled and felt herself sway side to side as her body molded to fit his, falling into his frame.

"Hi." she replied.

He kissed her neck, "Come with me." He turned her around and took her hands, leading her out of the bathroom.

"Where are we going?"

"I have something to show you." He walked behind her, covering his eyes with his hands and led her down the hallway, stopping right in front of the nursery door.

"Nate," Her world was black, "what's going on?" Her hands waved around in order to try to feel her way around the surprise, but she wasn't hitting anything but the walls, which didn't give anything away.

"Shh. You'll see." He turned the doorknob quietly, swinging open the door, careful not to hit the drying yellow paint on the walls. He pushed Blair into the middle of the room and then uncovered her eyes. But her eyes were still closed. "Okay, you can look now." He watched her eyes open and then she was speechless.

Blair couldn't believe her eyes when they finally opened. She looked around the soft yellow walls, scanning all of the decorations that were on the walls. The room had everything a baby needed and more. The white crib ran along the far sided wall. It was lined with all sorts of stuffed animals; a giraffe, a teddy bear, and a duck to name a few. The rocking chair sat next to the crib for the late night feedings she was not looking forward too. The white changing table was stocked with diapers and powders. The walls had numerous pictures hanging, her favorite was the one of her and Nate shortly after they were married, which hung over the changing table. She was completely speechless, the room turned out more beautiful than she had imagined.

Nate watched his wife's brown eyes sparkle with reflections of what she was taking in, a small smile grew on his face in satisfaction.

"I-I don't know what to say." she stuttered, still twirling around the room, tears sitting on her eyelids. "This is beyond amazing."

"You like it?"

She faced Nate and slowly waddled over to him. "No." His face dropped, "I love it." She smiled and then leaned in for a sweet kiss.

He smiled, "Good."

"How did you get all of this done so quickly?"

"I had help." She gazed at him questioningly, "Serena did all the decorating and Chuck helped with the assembling of furniture."

Blair smiled at her friends' name. "This is perfect." She muttered as she stood under Nate's arms as they stood in the middle of the room, a small spring breeze sweeping through the room. "It'll be even more perfect when there's a baby in here."

Nate chuckled, "Soon, baby…soon."


	15. Author's Note

AN: Hey guys…I am truly sorry for not writing in a long, long, long time. Currently I have about four chapters of this exact story that I'm writing, but I can't seem to finish them. For some reason, writers block has become my very best friend and it is not good. But don't worry. I hope to finish a chapter sometime soon, maybe even tonight if I can figure out why my brain hates me. Hopefully you guys don't hate me. See you soon!!! Love you.


	16. I'll Be There For You

AN: Hey guys. I'm back! I hope you haven't forgotten about me…that wouldn't be good. I'm so so so sorry for the lack of updates. It's been so crazy lately with college and adjusting with everything. But I'm back and it'll be better now…I'll update regularly now. And especially with this story, I've got so many ideas now. Yay! Anyways, enjoy!

Chapter 15 – I'll Be There For You

_I'll be there for you  
These five words I swear to you  
When you breathe I want to be the air for you  
I'll be there for you_

_I'd live and I'd die for you  
Steal the sun from the sky for you__  
_

May 19, 2009:

Blair jumped up in horror, trying to catch her breath as the remaining images of her nightmare flashed through her head. She could feel her heart beating quickly, thumping in her chest as her shaking hand placed itself on her heart as relief. But she wasn't relieved at all. In fact, she was scared to death. Her dream was a combination of everything baby related that scared her; the baby dying, the baby having deformities…something that she knew she wouldn't be able to handle as a teenage mother.

She placed a hand on her belly, soothingly rubbing it to maybe assure the baby that everything was okay, that everything would be okay. Or maybe she was reassuring herself that she, no matter what, would make a great mother to this child.

"Blair?" Nate's groggy voice broke the pitch black silence and he was slowly sitting up next to her. "Are you okay?"

She shook her head, "I had a horrible nightmare."

Nate's hand started sliding up and down on her back as a calming gesture. Before saying anything in response, Nate pulled Blair back down to the bed, pressing her body up against his, molding his to fit hers, as a security measure. His arm wrapped around her shoulders and her head rested in between his chin and his shoulder.

He kissed her hair, "It'll be okay. I'm right here."

She nodded, "I know."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She answered, "It was about the baby." He moved slightly, and to Blair it seemed like an unsettling shift. Anytime she tried to talk about something bad happening to the baby, purely just as a precaution, Nate always brushed it off, refusing to even entertain the idea. It wasn't like she wanted to think about it…she needed to be prepared though.

"What about the baby?" he asked.

She hesitated and whispered when she finally spoke, "What if our baby has deformities?" She titled her head so that she was looking up at his face.

Nate chuckled, gazing down at her big, wondering eyes. "Is that what your dream was about?"

She nodded. "What if it has ears that are _so_ much bigger than it's head…like Dumbo?" He could only laugh, and he knew that she would be upset with him when he couldn't stop. She was amusing and delusional, but he loved it.

She scorned, "I'm serious, Nate."

His thumb graced her forehead, pushing the strands of hair out of her eyes, "Baby, it'll be okay." He smiled sweetly, "We can handle anything. And I doubt our baby will look like Dumbo." He quietly laughed, making sure that it wasn't too audible for her to hear. "And if he happens to look like Dumbo, well then we'll have to tell him that even though everyone will laugh at him, we'll always love him."

She slapped him playfully in the gut, "Nate! Why would you think it's a boy?"

He shrugged as his hands rubbed the tenderness of his gut after her slap, "C'mon, it's a boy."

"How do you know?"

"I just do."

She tried to shift her weight so that she was towering over him, but her belly got in the way. It always got in the way; she was so ready to have her slim body back…she was getting very frustrated about being so fat. "What if it's a girl? Will you not love her as much?"

He shook his head instantly, "No way." She smiled. "I would love our little girl with every fiber in my body. I would spoil her rotten-"

Blair interrupted, "She would definitely be a daddy's girl."

"Absolutely." He answered, smiling.

There was a silent gush of air and Nate's eyes started to close, thinking that Blair had finally fallen back asleep. But she was wide awake.

She sighed, "What if something goes wrong? What if the baby ends up…" She caught the words in her throat, hesitant in throwing the words into the atmosphere. "…dying? Or if I die?"

Nate's eyes were still closed, but he could feel an uncomfortable feeling running through his veins. He hated this topic, and yes, he knew that it was necessary to be prepared just in case, but it wasn't a very well liked topic.

His hand stroked her hair gently, "Nothing bad is going to happen, Blair."

"Nate-"

"Stop thinking like that." he snapped, "If you keep thinking like that, then maybe something will happen. But we need to be positive and think happy thoughts, okay."

She nodded. "I'm sorry to bring it up."

He whispered, "It's okay. Now go back to sleep. You need your rest."

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

"Do you have to go?" Blair was up again, sitting on her feet at the edge of the bed, whining to her laughing husband as she watched him packing a small bag of clothes, rushing in and out of the closet to gather clothes. "You can't leave me." She grabbed his arm as he walked in front of her, pulling him over to her.

"Blair, I have to go." He smiled, stroking her cheek gently with his thumb. "My parents are making me."

"But, but…" Before she could finish, he pressed his lips against hers for a sweet kiss. She pulled away, her eyes still closed as she felt his body leave to return to packing. "That's not fair." She slowly opened her eyes and saw him smiling at her from the doorway of the closet.

"I'm sorry baby."

She sighed, knowing that she had lost the battle, "What if something happens? What if I go into labor or something?"

He answered quickly, "I've talked to Chuck about that…"

"Chuck?" she asked surprised.

He nodded, "Yeah. Just in case something like that does happen, he knows which hospital to go to, what doctor to tell, and then where and when he can reach me…" He pointed at Blair, "All you have to do is make sure you call Chuck."

Her mind was reeling with confusion. Why would Chuck agree to something like that? "Okay. I'll try to remember."

"And if he does call me, I'll rush back here and be by your side…" He stood in front of her again, taking her hands, "…every step of the way."

She smiled, "Okay." He kissed her forehead. "As long as you promise to be there."

"And I know I'm missing a doctor's appointment tomorrow, but Chuck said that he would go with you." he told her, returning to packing.

"Nate, I was thinking Serena could go with me."

He shook his head, "I know that Serena is your best friend and everything, and she's one of my best friends too, but it would just make me feel better if there was a guy there, and preferably Chuck. Just to make sure that you were being looked after."

She smiled at his concern, "But I'm sure Serena would look after me…" She tried to reason with him. Not that she didn't like Chuck, she didn't think he would be all that comfortable looking after his best friend's very, very, very pregnant teenaged wife. And going to the doctor's! She wasn't sure about it.

He was serious with his tone, "Blair, please." He gazed deeply into her eyes, "For me?"

Blair sighed in defeat once again, "Okay."

"Thank you." Nate pulled her off of the bed and wrapped his arms around her body, getting as close as humanly possible with the baby. "I'll be back soon…it won't take long, I promise." He pushed her away and looked at her, "Besides, if I don't like the school, then I'll leave early."

Blair laughed, "That is true. Now, I'm hungry." She kissed him sweetly, before waddling out the door and down to the kitchen, while Nate just laughed at her.

**XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO**

Blair had a hard time sleeping that night. Ever since she had mentioned the idea of going into labor without Nate here, she had mistaken every little kick or pain as a sign of labor. And it was driving her crazy. Now, of course she had no idea what she was supposed to feel as a labor indicator, except for the whole water braking thing. That she knew about.

It was even harder _because_ Nate wasn't here. He was her support, her shoulder to cry on…and without it, she had to substitute his shoulder for a pillow and she soaked it with tears of anxiety. She was all alone in the house. Nate and his parents were visiting colleges; Dartmouth (for his father), Yale, Brown…all the typical Ivy League schools. Derota was out with Serena's doorman, she could only think his name was Vannya or something like that.

So naturally, when she woke up that morning for the doctor's appointment, she was tired as hell. Combined with her lack of sleep and the normal pregnancy tiredness, she looked a mess when she looked in the mirror, getting ready for Chuck to come pick her up. Her clothes made her look ten times older than she really was, and she was frustrated with the fact that her hair did not want to cooperate with her that morning. Slamming her brush down onto the vanity, she placed her head in her hands. She was so done. With all of it. She wanted this baby out and out now.

"Blair!" She picked her head up when she heard Chuck's voice calling from downstairs. "Blair!" As she quickly rushed to finish putting her makeup on, she could hear his footsteps coming closer and closer and then finally, through the mirror, she saw his brunette head poke into the room.

"Hey." she smiled.

"You ready?" he asked quietly, now allowing himself fully into the room. She nodded. "Okay, lets go." He helped her slip her shoes on; she was going for two different shoes when she went into her closet.

"Thanks." She blushed and he only smiled back, chuckling underneath his breath. He held out his hand when they reached the stairs, and she graciously took it as he guided her down the stairs.

They were in the limo in an instant. Blair was actually surprised that she moved that fast. But it was awkward. The last time she was in a limo with Chuck was when they had had sex. Yeah…

Chuck watched Blair's facial expressions as they quietly rode in the limo. He knew exactly what she was thinking with every eyebrow raise, or twitch of her nose. And he knew that she was remembering the last time they were in this limo together. He was too. It was the night that had changed everything for him, the moment where he was officially attached to this brunette, stubborn girl sitting next to him.

But they stayed quiet. In fact that stayed quiet all day; in the limo on the ride there, in the doctor's waiting room, and in the actual room when they were waiting for the doctor to examine Blair. To Blair's ultimate surprise, Chuck was sitting in one of the chairs in front of her while she sat on the table, swinging her legs impatiently.

"Hello Blair." Dr. Jamé finally walked in, chart in hand and white doctor's coat on as well, looking very professional…as always. She was caught by surprise when she turned around, expecting to see Nate, but instead saw Chuck. "Why hello…"

Chuck stood up in a gentlemanly fashion, extending his hand out to Dr. Jamé, "Hello. I'm Chuck Bass-"

"He's my husband's best friend." Blair quickly chimed in, smiling when the doctor glanced over at her.

"Well then…okay." She returned to her chart as Chuck sat back down, his devilish grin spanning slowly across his face. Blair shot him a menacing glance and when he caught sight of it, he wiped the grin off. "So you're pretty close to your due date, the baby should be born any day now."

"I hope it's soon." Blair muttered under her breath, but Dr. Jamé heard her anyway and smiled sympathetically at her. "I'm so ready to not be pregnant anymore."

Dr. Jamé nodded in understanding, "Everyone says that. And believe me, I understand."

Dr. Jamé asked Chuck to step out into the hallway as she examined Blair. He stood quietly, hands in his pockets as he watched all the couples shuffle in and out of the rooms. Usually the husband/boyfriend placed his hand on the small of the wife/girlfriend's back and guided her back to the car. Chuck could only shake his head. He didn't think he would ever have kids after experiencing this with Blair and Nate. It wasn't just their baby, this baby would be a part of the Non-Judging Breakfast Club, as they so called dubbed themselves, and it would therefore be Chuck and Serena's as much as it was Blair and Nate's child.

The door creaked open, "It'll be sometime soon, Blair. I promise." Chuck moved away from the door as Blair waddled her way out of the room, shaking Dr. Jamé's hand as they finished. "Don't worry, it'll all be okay."

Blair smiled, "Thank you."

"Thanks." Chuck echoed as they both turned to head back to the limo. Chuck found himself taking the husband role, placing his hand gently on the small of Blair's back to push her along. It was so gentle that Blair didn't even notice that he was doing it.

They were back in the limo. And they were quiet again.

"Chuck," Blair whispered, "Thanks for coming with me today. I appreciate it."

Chuck nodded, "Of course."

"It couldn't have be comfortable for you."

He shrugged, "Nah, it's okay." She smiled. Before she could talk to him anymore, the car pulled right up in front of her house. Chuck slid out of the limo first, holding the door open for Blair, and when she struggled to get to her feet, he held out his hand for her to take as support. And of course, she graciously accepted once again.

"Do you need help getting inside?" Chuck asked, but Blair shook her head. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, thanks though." She turned to go into the house as Chuck turned to go back into the limo, but halted when he heard Blair's voice start to shake.

"Uh oh…" Blair was completely still. And so was Chuck.

"Blair?"

"I think my water just broke."


End file.
